Saturday, March 28, 2009

An Open Letter to March Madness

Dear March Madness,




I hate you.




I hate you and we’re breaking up forever.


Why are we breaking up, you ask? Well, simply put, you have been a horrible boyfriend to me over the years and I just can’t take your passive aggressive nature anymore.

Every year you totally screw me over! Oh, yeah, you’re great at wooing me with empty promises of adventure and excitement. But, every year, without fail, except for when Maryland won the National Championship, you break my heart. And, I’ve decided that I’ve had enough.

I’ve had enough of listening to sports announcers praise the “intelligent” and “respectful” play of Duke while the same Duke players kick their opposition in the balls and step on their stomachs without getting called for flagrant fouls (see Christian “I Hate that Bastard” Laetner).

I’ve had enough of you making me fall in love with cute, charismatic freshmen who go on to make national championship crushing time-outs. I’ve had enough of teams who you PROMISE are going to win the big dance, but instead get kicked out of the dance during the Sweet Sixteen or the Elite Eight.

I stuck with you through all those years when you became enamored with those stupid sideline ho’s mid-majors who never did nothing for nobody. You know I don’t care who wins between Butler and Southern Illinois! What the hell is a Saluki anyways?!?

Yeah, yeah, so you have given me little leaps for joy over the years. You made Dookies cry sometimes and you banned mid-majors from the tournament this year; but, so what? What does it matter when you’re irresponsible and inconsiderate behavior can’t even get me to win my own tournament challenge?!?


If you really cared, you’d stand beside me and not let the Canadians kick me in the butt every, single, stinking year in the SD Bracket Challenge! But, nooooo!!! You just abuse me emotionally every year! You tell me you love me, but you really don’t. You don’t love me! You only love yourself!!


So, I’ve had it! I mean it this time! I’m not coming back to you.

Don’t call me asking me if I want to go to the Final Four next year (YES, I WANT TO GO!!!). Don’t come around next March promising me that Pitt is, YET AGAIN, the sure fire way to the SD Bracket Challenge Championship.


Forget my phone number.


Forget where I live.


If you come knocking, I will NOT turn on CBS and let you in.



No more! We are done!


We are SO DONE!


WE ARE FINISHED!!!



Sincerely,


Reese the Law Girl


PS: Call me…you know, if you just want to be friends…we can still hang out sometimes…you know, if you want…


[Reese whispers] I love you. xoxo


Reese + March Madness = Love Forever!

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Monday, March 16, 2009

Update: SD Bracket Challenge!!

Whoops! There's a broken link in the Bracket Challenge post below. I already corrected it, but for those who only read the subscriber e-mails, you can access ESPN's Tournament Challenge page here.

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Sunday, March 15, 2009

SD Bracket Challenge! Join Now 'Cause I Says So!!

IT’S MARCH MADNESS!!!!





MARCH MADNESS!!!!





MARCH!!!!!!!





MADNESS!!!!




Look, I know I’ve been slacking on the blog, but I’ve been tired and not feeling any inspiration. But, just because I haven’t been around doesn’t mean that you should take your lack of apathy out on March Madness! What did March Madness ever do to you?!?



Now, I’m switching things up this year. We’re moving the SD Bracket Challenge from CNN/Sports Illustrated to ESPN. So, you will have to register on ESPN to join. The instructions on how to join are below.



Please don't think you have to have any basketball knowledge to play. Most of the time the people who win these things pick teams based on colors or school names (CC won a challenge one year just because she liked saying "Connecticut" over and over again). So please join, play, and trash talk (On ESPN we can have group conversations (on the lower right hand side of the group page). So we must trash talk! In fact, this year I will give an award to the Best Trash Talker. So you know…start…talking…trash or whatever!).



Okay, so follow the directions below. Do it! Do it! The more people we have the more fun!



PS: You only have until the early morning hours of Thursday, March 19th to pick your teams so hurry! Don’t start an entry and then fill out the brackets later. You’ll forget, trust me. Sign up and pick your bracket now (and pick a creative Team Name). You can always change your picks later.


Directions:


1) Go here. If you don’t have an ESPN account you have to register.



2) Once you register, you may have to go back to the front page of the ESPN tourney challenge (click the link in step one). Basically, you want your browser to look something like THIS.



3) From the front page you can create an entry and also join the SD Bracket Challenge. To join the SD Bracket Challenge, just click “Join a Group” find “SD Bracket Challenge” and then enter the password: lawgirl.



It’s as simple as that!



So get going. Do it now! Now!! Reese commands you!

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Sunday, March 08, 2009

It's March!!! IT'S MARCH!!!!

First of all, this is for Strength/Courage/Wisdom. I know she'll get a kick out of it...





Second of all, I haven't written much of anything in a month, because I literally have nothing. Or at least, I have nothing that's safe to publish. Don't ask, I won't post it.


Next, as Dez reminded me on Facebook and in the comment section, it is in fact March. And you all know what that means....


...it means...something...sort of important...



Okay, look I can't get excited at this very moment about March Madness because I just got my Invisalign braces and I'm in excruciating pain a tad bit uncomfortable. I will say that I watched Morehead State and Northern Iowa punch their tickets to the Big Dance this weekend and the games were great and I got really excited for March Madness. But, that was before I put in my second Invisalign tray on account of the first tray feeling too comfortable; and, of course, all painful tooth hell broke loose due to my genius dentistry improvisation.


Anyways, I don’t feel like talking about this anymore. I’m hopped up on drugs and my mouth is sore. So, this post is just a reminder that the SD Bracket Challenge will start next Sunday and you all better be prepared for a beat down…



That is if my teeth are up to it.



Oh my precious teefs (now that I have braces, I can't say the word "teeth").

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