Tuesday, March 29, 2011

The Great Sock Debate

For those of you who are not fluent in twin speak, I have translated the above video for you. I suggest you first watch the video and then read the translation so you can truly understand the importance of this groundbreaking look into the mind of babies.

Because we only know the twins as “R” and “S,” I’m dubbing the baby with two socks as “R” and the baby with one sock as “S.” I don’t know if these are the babies’ true identities. Just go with me on this…

R: “Hey, dude. You know you only have one sock on?”

S: “Yeah, man, it looks cool, right?”

R: “Well, actually, you look crazy. Like, really crazy.”

S: “Heh, man, you’re so dramatic.”

R: “No really, it’s not right to wear just one sock.”

S: “Dude, stop busting my balls, seriously. With one sock on I’m guaranteed to keep at least one foot nice and cool.”

R: “But, you’re susceptible to hidden dangers when you walk around bare foot!”

S [laughing]: “Hidden dangers?!? Like what?!?”

R: “Like splinters!”

S [laughing]: “Dude, this floor is laminate.”

R [looking down]: “Oh, so it is. But, still, it’s not a good look.”

S: “Nah, man. I’m cool. Just leave me alone.”

R: “But, dude, I’m telling you, you look crazy.”

S [laughing]: “Wow. You are such a drama queen.”

R [waving indiscriminately]: “I’m not a drama queen!”

S: “Yeah, you are.”

R: “No, I’m not!”

S: “Okay, you’re not.”

R: “Thank you.”

S [laughing]: “Sike! You’re a drama queen.”

R: “Okay, fine, but you know what? That’s why you have to hang on to the fridge to stand. Because you only have one sock on!”

S [laughing]: “What?!? Dude, that doesn’t even make any sense.”

R: “Okay, you know what. Enough! You need to just listen to me. You know what? Let’s ask mom.”

“Mom, shouldn’t ‘S’ have both socks on?”


“Oh, wait, I forgot you can’t understand a word I’m saying.”

“Listen guy, just go find your other sock and put it on.”

S: “No.”

R [exasperated]: “Sometimes, I really just can’t even deal with you!”

S: “And they say I’m the crazy weird one! You’re nuts, dude.”

R: “You know what, don’t come crying to me when you’ve hit rock bottom. Do you know what it looks like to hit rock bottom? You’re way down here when you hit rock bottom.” [R illustrates what rock bottom looks like]

S: “Nah, dude you know what, I’m cool. I’m straight. I’m just going to hang out by the fridge over here.”

R: “Listen to what I’m trying to tell you!”

S: “I don’t want to listen!”

R: “I’m trying to save you from rock bottom!”

S: [looks at brother like he’s a lunatic]

The End.

And thus ends The Great Sock Debate of 2011. I would like to thank “R” and “S” for getting me out of my nearly year long writing drought. For the record, I must say, I’m totally Team S on this one.

© 2011. All Rights Reserved.

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