Superhead, Jigga, Angelina & Brad, Maternity Leave, and Chocolate Eclairs: Other Random Discussions During Training
Here are some other random discussions we had during training…
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I. More Superhead
Egypt: “Oh, yeah, I read Superhead’s book. Ya’ll know she slept with EVERYBODY!”
Reese: “Yeah, I heard.”
Egypt: “Yeah, and they called her Superhead because she could take it ALL in!! Like ALL of it!!”
Debbie: “Okay, we get it.”
Egypt: “Like ALL of it!! She would even throw-up and still…”
Debbie: “STOP IT!!!”
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II. Jigga What?
Debbie: “Ya’ll if we get called on we are going to be in so much trouble.”
Alex: “We need to come up with a plan.”
Egypt: “I already got a plan. If she calls on me, I’m gonna be like, “Jigaa what? Jigga who?”
Reese [repeating Egypt with a beat]: “Jigga what? Jigga who?”
Alex [chiming in]: “You know you can’t f--- with me!”
Debbie: “Switcha flow, getcha dough, can’t f--- with this Roc-a-fella s--- though…”
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III. Angelina & Brad
Reese: “ANGELINA DID NOT STEAL BRAD PITT!!!”
Egypt: “ANGELINA IS A SKINNY HO, WITH BIG LIPS!!!”
Cleo: “Okay, because home-girl is UGLY!!!”
Patrice: “Not true!! Angelina is GORGEOUS!!!!”
Reese: “Whatever! Because I would have Brad Pitt’s baby in a heartbeat! If Brad said, “Reese, will you have my baby,” ya’ll would never see me again!!!”
Patrice: “Girl you trippin’!! If Brad Pitt said, “Patrice, will you have my baby,” I would say, “Brad, I’m already pregnant. Your question impregnated me. Just like that.”
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IV. Maternity Leave
Reese: “Hey, Debbie, I thought your husband could give you some of his military leave?”
Debbie: “Yeah, but to do that you gotta have an excuse like you’re on maternity leave or something.”
Reese [laughing]: “Well, you could always lie and say you’re pregnant.”
Debbie [laughing]: “Yeah, and 9 months later say, “Whoops! False alarm.”
Alex [laughing]: “You could say you used an expired pregnancy test.”
Debbie [pretending to talk to the powers that be]: “Oh, but I thought that the negative meant that I WAS pregnant.”
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V. Chocolate Eclairs
Patrice [talking to Reese as Reese re-enters the hearing room]: “Reese, where did you get those doughnuts?!?!”
Reese [eating a chocolate éclair]: “They’re outside in the hallway.”
Debbie: “Those are the doughnuts for the break. You’re not supposed to eat them until the break!”
Reese: “Well, the break was supposed to happen 30 minutes ago and, as you can see from the television screen, she’s still talking. And, as my soul dies a little death every 2 minutes because I’m forced to listen to this training, I’m going to make sure I go out with a bang. So, I’m going to eat as many chocolate éclairs as humanly possible. And, I suggest that if you want to eat as many chocolate éclairs as humanly possible, you take your following directions, non-break taking, starving to death, soul dying behinds outside and eat some pastries.”
[Everyone then runs outside and grabs some goodies.]
© Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved.
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I. More Superhead
Egypt: “Oh, yeah, I read Superhead’s book. Ya’ll know she slept with EVERYBODY!”
Reese: “Yeah, I heard.”
Egypt: “Yeah, and they called her Superhead because she could take it ALL in!! Like ALL of it!!”
Debbie: “Okay, we get it.”
Egypt: “Like ALL of it!! She would even throw-up and still…”
Debbie: “STOP IT!!!”
-------------------------
II. Jigga What?
Debbie: “Ya’ll if we get called on we are going to be in so much trouble.”
Alex: “We need to come up with a plan.”
Egypt: “I already got a plan. If she calls on me, I’m gonna be like, “Jigaa what? Jigga who?”
Reese [repeating Egypt with a beat]: “Jigga what? Jigga who?”
Alex [chiming in]: “You know you can’t f--- with me!”
Debbie: “Switcha flow, getcha dough, can’t f--- with this Roc-a-fella s--- though…”
-------------------------
III. Angelina & Brad
Reese: “ANGELINA DID NOT STEAL BRAD PITT!!!”
Egypt: “ANGELINA IS A SKINNY HO, WITH BIG LIPS!!!”
Cleo: “Okay, because home-girl is UGLY!!!”
Patrice: “Not true!! Angelina is GORGEOUS!!!!”
Reese: “Whatever! Because I would have Brad Pitt’s baby in a heartbeat! If Brad said, “Reese, will you have my baby,” ya’ll would never see me again!!!”
Patrice: “Girl you trippin’!! If Brad Pitt said, “Patrice, will you have my baby,” I would say, “Brad, I’m already pregnant. Your question impregnated me. Just like that.”
-----------------------------
IV. Maternity Leave
Reese: “Hey, Debbie, I thought your husband could give you some of his military leave?”
Debbie: “Yeah, but to do that you gotta have an excuse like you’re on maternity leave or something.”
Reese [laughing]: “Well, you could always lie and say you’re pregnant.”
Debbie [laughing]: “Yeah, and 9 months later say, “Whoops! False alarm.”
Alex [laughing]: “You could say you used an expired pregnancy test.”
Debbie [pretending to talk to the powers that be]: “Oh, but I thought that the negative meant that I WAS pregnant.”
-----------------------------
V. Chocolate Eclairs
Patrice [talking to Reese as Reese re-enters the hearing room]: “Reese, where did you get those doughnuts?!?!”
Reese [eating a chocolate éclair]: “They’re outside in the hallway.”
Debbie: “Those are the doughnuts for the break. You’re not supposed to eat them until the break!”
Reese: “Well, the break was supposed to happen 30 minutes ago and, as you can see from the television screen, she’s still talking. And, as my soul dies a little death every 2 minutes because I’m forced to listen to this training, I’m going to make sure I go out with a bang. So, I’m going to eat as many chocolate éclairs as humanly possible. And, I suggest that if you want to eat as many chocolate éclairs as humanly possible, you take your following directions, non-break taking, starving to death, soul dying behinds outside and eat some pastries.”
[Everyone then runs outside and grabs some goodies.]
© Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved.
posted by Reese The Law Girl at 10:39 PM
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