Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Superhead, Jigga, Angelina & Brad, Maternity Leave, and Chocolate Eclairs: Other Random Discussions During Training

Here are some other random discussions we had during training…


--------------------

I. More Superhead


Egypt: “Oh, yeah, I read Superhead’s book. Ya’ll know she slept with EVERYBODY!”

Reese: “Yeah, I heard.”

Egypt: “Yeah, and they called her Superhead because she could take it ALL in!! Like ALL of it!!”

Debbie: “Okay, we get it.”

Egypt: “Like ALL of it!! She would even throw-up and still…”

Debbie: “STOP IT!!!”

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II. Jigga What?

Debbie: “Ya’ll if we get called on we are going to be in so much trouble.”

Alex: “We need to come up with a plan.”

Egypt: “I already got a plan. If she calls on me, I’m gonna be like, “Jigaa what? Jigga who?”

Reese [repeating Egypt with a beat]: “Jigga what? Jigga who?”

Alex [chiming in]: “You know you can’t f--- with me!”

Debbie: “Switcha flow, getcha dough, can’t f--- with this Roc-a-fella s--- though…”

-------------------------

III. Angelina & Brad

Reese: “ANGELINA DID NOT STEAL BRAD PITT!!!”


Egypt: “ANGELINA IS A SKINNY HO, WITH BIG LIPS!!!”

Cleo: “Okay, because home-girl is UGLY!!!”

Patrice: “Not true!! Angelina is GORGEOUS!!!!”

Reese: “Whatever! Because I would have Brad Pitt’s baby in a heartbeat! If Brad said, “Reese, will you have my baby,” ya’ll would never see me again!!!”

Patrice: “Girl you trippin’!! If Brad Pitt said, “Patrice, will you have my baby,” I would say, “Brad, I’m already pregnant. Your question impregnated me. Just like that.”

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IV. Maternity Leave


Reese: “Hey, Debbie, I thought your husband could give you some of his military leave?”


Debbie: “Yeah, but to do that you gotta have an excuse like you’re on maternity leave or something.”

Reese [laughing]: “Well, you could always lie and say you’re pregnant.”

Debbie [laughing]: “Yeah, and 9 months later say, “Whoops! False alarm.”

Alex [laughing]: “You could say you used an expired pregnancy test.”

Debbie [pretending to talk to the powers that be]: “Oh, but I thought that the negative meant that I WAS pregnant.”

-----------------------------

V. Chocolate Eclairs

Patrice [talking to Reese as Reese re-enters the hearing room]: “Reese, where did you get those doughnuts?!?!”


Reese [eating a chocolate éclair]: “They’re outside in the hallway.”

Debbie: “Those are the doughnuts for the break. You’re not supposed to eat them until the break!”

Reese: “Well, the break was supposed to happen 30 minutes ago and, as you can see from the television screen, she’s still talking. And, as my soul dies a little death every 2 minutes because I’m forced to listen to this training, I’m going to make sure I go out with a bang. So, I’m going to eat as many chocolate éclairs as humanly possible. And, I suggest that if you want to eat as many chocolate éclairs as humanly possible, you take your following directions, non-break taking, starving to death, soul dying behinds outside and eat some pastries.”


[Everyone then runs outside and grabs some goodies.]


© Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved.

11 Comments:

Blogger This Girl I Used to Know said...

This...

Patrice: “Girl you trippin’!! If Brad Pitt said, “Patrice, will you have my baby,” I would say, “Brad, I’m already pregnant. Your question impregnated me. Just like that.”

Is TOO FUNNY!

7:45 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

I really need to start going to training with you. My trainings are nothing like that.

10:18 PM  
Blogger gloria said...

If Brad said, “Reese, will you have my baby,” ya’ll would never see me again!!!”


“Girl you trippin’!! If Brad Pitt said, “Patrice, will you have my baby,” I would say, “Brad, I’m already pregnant. Your question impregnated me. Just like that.”


This is TOO funny!!! I want to attend your TRAININGS!

LOL

11:20 PM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Oh, Reese. You can make anything fun can't you? You are hilarious!!

1:00 AM  
Blogger derek said...

So, let me get this straight:

Superhead ate a whole chocolate eclair
Reese is having Jay-Z's baby
Angelina's lips are 30 minutes late for break
and
Brad Pitt took the whole thing


Wow...I need some training!

4:48 AM  
Blogger jeopardygirl said...

Thanks for the best laugh I've had so far today...okay, so it's not 8:00 a.m., yet, but I'll be laughing about this all day. God, I need a life. :)

7:53 AM  
Blogger Jomama said...

Please don't end training any time soon. This stuff is too funny.

8:24 AM  
Blogger Bobo the Wandering Pallbearer said...

What in the HELL are y'all training for? You're not all wearing Nikes, are you?

10:02 AM  
Blogger Joanne said...

ROTFLMAO! This is the craziest training ever. Is this an annual thing?

10:27 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Hehehe, thanx everyone. :D

I kid you not, I work with some of the funniest people in the world. Luckily training is via video conferencing so the trainers can't see us and the judges are all in another room. Hence, the good times. ;)

I've got one more random discussion post. I'm not sure if it's as funny as this one, but it certainly is interesting. ;)

1:34 PM  
Blogger 周星星Star said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:15 PM  

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