Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Trials and Tribulations of the Poor, Working Girl: Chapter 3

So, here's the latest trial of PWG.



In an ancient land far, far away there lived a poor, working girl. Her purpose: to take down the evil and vile Dragon and do away with its misery. But, in order to do this, she must endure many trials and tribulations. Will the poor, working girl accomplish her goal and save the ancient land from the Dragon’s enduring torture? We shall follow her and find out…

The Labyrinth

As Poor Working Girl (PWG) relishes in her recent victory over level 1 boss, Overzealous Security Guard, she is suddenly taken aback by a strange light and an equally strange voice.

???: “Don’t think you’re hot stuff. I have many bosses and many levels.”

PWG: “Who is that? The light is so bright…I can’t see…”

???: “Who is it?!? Uh, hello!?!?! It’s the Dragon, of course!”

PWG: “The Dragon!!!”

Dragon: “Yes, the Dragon. Didn’t I just say that?”

PWG: “Wow. Can’t believe I’m actually talking to the Dragon. This is kinda cool…”

Dragon: “Well, I imagine it is very cool for you. I mean, I am THE Dragon and… HEY! Quit that! You’re supposed to fear me!!”

PWG: “Fear you? You obviously don’t know who you’re dealing with do you? I’m Poor Working Girl! I fear no one…”

“Except for my creditors. Now, there’s a scary bunch, let me tell you…”

Dragon: “SILENCE! We will see what you’re made of! Take these magical forms to the Land of Travel Approval and we shall see how brave you really are!”

PWG: “Take some forms to the Land of Travel Approval?!? Are serious? Isn’t this a job for one your minions?”

Dragon: “NEWSFLASH: You are one of my minions! The Code of the Poor Working Girl is to infiltrate the Dragon’s organization from within. Duh!!!”

PWG: “Wait, wait, wait!”

“There’s a Code of the Poor Working Girl?”

Dragon: “Oh, this is just ridiculous! I mean, really! Who is your Ancient Asian Master? Hasn’t he taught you anything?”

PWG: “No, not really. I mainly just detail his car.”

Dragon: “Well, that sucks.”

PWG [rolling her eyes]: “Tell me about it!”

Dragon: “You know I kind of feel sorry for you, PWG- having a no good Ancient Asian Master and all. So, you know, I’m going to give you a hint on how to complete this trial.”

PWG: “Really? You know, I’m ‘bout it enough not to need any hints.”

Dragon: “Uhhh, hello? I’m doing you a favor. Do you want to wander aimlessly through the Land of Travel Approval or not?”

PWG: “Alright, what’s the hint?”

Dragon: “To get to the Land of Travel Approval, you must find the True Office Assistant.”

PWG: “The True Office Assistant? Who’s that?”

Dragon: “Well, it wouldn’t be a hint if I gave you the answer now would it?”

PWG: “I guess not…”

Dragon: “Find the True Office Assistant and you shall be well on your way to defeating me in a totally wicked cool, although not completely imagined in the head of our narrator, battle sequence!”


Dragon: “Yeah, I know…”

PWG: “So, you think I can defeat you?”

Dragon: “No…no, I don’t.”

PWG: “Dang!”

Dragon: “But, I do like you kid. You’ve got moxey.”

PWG: “Thanx!”

Dragon: “Yeah, well, you’re welcome. But, don’t get too happy just yet. I doubt you’ll ever find the True Office Assistant. She’s really hidden down in the dumps. MU-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Get it? Down in the dumps?”

PWG: “No.”

Dragon: “You will. MU-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

PWG: “Are you done yet?”

Dragon: “Just one more- MU-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”

PWG: “Whatever.”

As Poor Working Girl turns to start her journey to the Land of Travel Approval, she realizes that this trial may be a bit more difficult than she initially realized. For in front of her are hundreds, if not thousands, of corridors. The path to the Land of Travel Approval is not a straight one. It is a dizzying maze...

A labyrinth.

Nice how I got the sub-title in there, huh?

PWG [communicating telepathically]: “Uhhh, Ancient Chinese Master, I could use some help. This labyrinth is pretty expansive. What should I do?”

Ancient Chinese Master (ACM): “Wait…I am meditating on the answer…”

PWG: “Okay.”

ACM: “SHHH!!! I’m meditating…”

PWG [whispering]: “…okay…”

ACM: “Yes! Yes! I’ve got it!!!”

PWG: “What is it?!? What should I do?!?!”

ACM: “Start…walking…”

PWG: “Yes…”

ACM: “That’s it. Start walking.”

PWG: “Start walking?”

ACM: “Yes.”

PWG: “Really?”

ACM: “Yes.”

PWG: “God, I hate you.”

ACM: “Hehehehe! It’s just so easy to mess with you!”

Well, having no other choice, Poor Working Girl starts walking through the labyrinth. She walks and walks through an endless maze of offices, cubicles, and obscenely bland meeting rooms. She keeps walking until she sees an open room emitting a strange, pulsating light.

Struck by curiosity, and also stupidity, Poor Working Girl goes inside the room. Immediately, she realizes what this place is.

PWG: “I know this place…”

Narrator: “Uh, yeah, I just said that.”

PWG: “Shut-up!!! You’re not supposed to be in a dialogue sequence! This is my show! Get to narrating!!!!”

Narrator: “God! You’re such a bi…”


Narrator: “You know what? Just for your snappy attitude, I refuse to narrate until you apologize!”

PWG: “WHAT?!?!”

Narrator: “I’m on strike!”


Narrator: “Yeah, well, I’m tired and you are mean and so now I’m on strike!”


Narrator: “APOLOGIZE!!!”

PWG: “NO!!!!”

Narrator [walking away]: “Fine. Then, I’m out. I got other stuff I gotta do anyways!”


Narrator [still walking]: “NO!”

PWG [screaming]: “FINISH MY STORY!!!!”

Narrator [getting into her car and driving away]: “LA-LA-LA-LA, I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!!”

PWG: “OH, THIS IS SOME [insert bad word]!!!!”


© Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved.

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Blogger Karla said...

Oh now you se that is wrong Reese how are you going to leave us hanging like that?

11:24 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

that is suppose to be *see*. I cant type, whatever.

11:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hee Hee Hee Hee Hee!

7:40 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

Anxiously awaiting the conclusion........

10:05 AM  
Blogger Jessica R. said...

That dang narrarator - who do they think they are!!!

Reese - work some magic - get them back and i'm ready for a new post in the a.m. haha - j/k but HURRY UP....this was was especially hilarious!

12:24 PM  
Blogger Amadeo said...

That's about right...you can't even depend on the narrator these days...

3:28 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Freakin' narrators...ugh.

4:31 PM  
Blogger derek said...

This is why crazy, compelling and another c-word I can't say in this company all start with c.

NO NOT THAT C-WORD! I would never use that!

3:56 PM  

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