Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Circular Logic (What's Wrong with Reese?)

“You’re a very strange girl.”

Ever since my aunt said this to me, I’ve been seriously questioning my normalcy. At first I thought I’m just like everyone else. I mean, Lisa and I have practically the same interests; therefore, I have to be normal, right?

But, then I thought I really shouldn’t judge my normalcy using Lisa as my template. I mean, I like Lisa and everything, but, between you and me, she’s nuts! A really strange girl.

So, I started comparing myself to other normal people. Listening to their conversations and absorbing what is important in their lives. And, that’s when it hit me- I am strange! What’s wrong with me?

Like, why don’t I like chick flicks? I’m a chick. Shouldn’t I like the flick? I have such a lack of attraction to romance.

And, why haven’t I had a long-term relationship? Everyone else has. Maybe I want one too? Maybe I want to be in love?

Why did I just make myself throw up? I know that I treat love like a disease- a putrid, horrible condition that destroys your very soul. Why everyone else wants this disease is beyond me. I could care less to deal with it.

So, why am I so apathetic? I mean sometimes I think that I don’t really care about anything. I always take a stand on something because I initially feel passionate about it. But, then, after I’ve gone through all of the trouble to defend my position, I end up thinking, “Yea, so, I don’t really care anymore. This is all so unnecessary.” And, after that, anything that anyone says to me about the topic always gets met with this reply: “Yea, but I don’t care. This is stupid.”

Why am I so juvenile? I’m always making stupid wisecracks at stuff. I still watch Saturday morning cartoons. I bought my favorite Jem doll off of Ebay. I still watch Jem! It’s like I’m regressing. Everyone else is growing up, having relationships, and buying houses, while I’m trying to buy all 3 of the Misfits off of Ebay (as you can tell, I love Ebay as much as I love Jem). Why can’t I be like everyone else?

Why did I just break out into immense laughter after I wrote that last sentence? Because I know that I don’t want to be like everyone else. I take pride in being one of the few mutant, green roses in a mass of red ones. I’ve never wanted to be like everyone else. I know that I am unique, and special, and maybe even a little bit better than the mindless, auto-matons that I always run into.

So, why do people think I’m arrogant? There’s no justification for it really. It’s not like I think I’m better than anyone or something.

For the life of me, I can’t figure out why I’m such a hypocrite? I’m always saying stuff, and then saying more stuff that contradicts the stuff I had just said before. That’s not that bright, huh?

So, why am I, a stupid person, trying to figure myself out? I’m stupid, so I’m never going to figure out what’s wrong with me. I might as well just accept myself the way that I am and move on.


That actually sounds like a plan. I think I’ll do it.

So, what’s wrong with me?

Eh, I dunno. And, I really don’t care either.

© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.


Blogger FruitFly said...

Amen, sister.

(I hate to leave "I agree" type comments, but damn, there's just nothing to add here.)

11:29 PM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

You have just taken your first step down the path to Enlightenment.

You have accepted yourself for who you are, AND realized that the only hting you really know is that you know nothing.

Watch that next step though, it's a dooooooooosey!

6:20 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Fruitfly: You know, after I posted that I debated about taking it down. I was wondering if anyone would get it. Thanx for letting me know that I was actually making some kind of sense. :)

J: Any hint on what the next step might be? Or are you going to be like one of those spiritual guides that tells me something without really telling me anything? ;)

6:44 AM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Ahh,you have now taken the second step down the path of Enlightenment.

Damn, you're making it look easy! :)

8:28 AM  
Blogger Karla said...

Hey Reese, have you been reading my mind because that is EXCATLY how i feel. So i guess that makes me a strange girl also.

8:40 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

J: Are you trying to mess with my mind? Now, not only am I utterly confused, but you're also starting to remind me of the Ancient Chinese Master that I've written about in my Poor Working Girl series. Quit it! It's driving me mad, I tell you! ;)

Karla: Yes! I say Strange Girls should unite

Well, it's good to know there's another strange girl in the house. ;)

8:55 AM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

I meant that I can't TEACH you ANYTHING. You can only CHOOSE to learn.
Which is pretty much what you said "Telling you something, without telling you."

You get it and you don't even know it! That's DEEP Reese, DEEP. :)

9:08 AM  
Blogger "Lisa" said...

Hey! Why are you always calling me crazy! I AM NOT CRAZY. I am perfectly normal. Plus I am better then you. I am a purple mutant flower instead of a green one. And that makes me even more special.

P.S. Great Blog and you still haven't mailed me Jem season 2. What's the hold up

9:24 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

J: Wow. That is deep. It's really deep that you knew, that I knew, even though I didn't know, but you knew that too.


Lisa: First of all, you are strange. You're the strangest one of all. Second, purple roses are not as great as green roses. Green roses are just weird. Thus, and therefore, I am better than you (I have no idea what I said just now).

Third- I totally forgot I was supposed to mail you that! Now, I gotta go find it. It can be in many places (laptop, PS2, my cousins DVD player). When I find it, I'll send it to you. :)

9:36 AM  
Blogger kelly said...

I think everyone questions who they are.. and there are times that I wonder.. am i strange because I like this and most don't? but really everyone is different and thats what makes us NORMAL..

10:00 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

I like that, Kelly ("everyone is different and that's what makes us normal"). I'm quoting you from now on. ;)

10:11 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Yes Kelly, words of wisdom, "Everyone is different and thats what makes us normal!"
I know I'm not like anyone else either - maybe in some ways I'm like a normal chick, but hey I shop for vintage strawberry shortcake items on ebay, so don't feel so bad Reese. My new mission will be to find my old Jem doll though.

10:16 AM  
Blogger KOM said...

Something about your post reminds me of the Emo Phillips line: "I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this."

Sounds to me like you've developed a severe case of the human condition.

1:20 PM  
Blogger FruitFly said...

Not only did I get it, I think I had that conversation (with myself of course) years ago. A few minor changes of course, like my obsession at the time was items from the Great Space Coaster rather than Jem, but you know, same idea.

I find so-called normalcy to be incredibly boring.

1:25 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Hey, Kom, how do I get rid of the that (the human condition)? Antibiotics, herbs, Jesus? ;)

1:28 PM  
Blogger KOM said...

The prodedure can be quite simple. But I'm not sure if you'd be happy with the results.

I suppose that in large enough quantities antibiotics, herbs or Jesus actually could end this condition for you. But it sounds painful.

3:22 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Kom: LOL! Okay, I guess it's best to just deal with it.

Fruitfly: I agree with you on "normal" being boring. You know those after school specials where the bad kid would always tell the good kid, "C'mon do it! Everyone else is."? I always thought that was hilarious. And, I so wanted someone to say that too me when I got in high school- so I could laugh. But, alas, I didn't have to deal with peer pressure. Dang...

7:51 PM  

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