Reese Gets a New Car: Part 1
Reese: “Look, Dodge…we need to talk.”
Dodge: “Talk? Talk about what?”
Reese: “Look, I’m going to be 30 in two months. It’s time for me to get an upgrade.”
Dodge: “Upgrade? Upgrade what?”
Reese: “My car.”
Dodge: “Your car?”
Reese: “Yes.”
Dodge: “That would be me?”
Reese: “Yes.”
Dodge: “Oh, I see…”
Reese: “Look, Dodge, I don’t want this to be difficult…”
Dodge: “So, you’re just going to get rid of me?”
Reese: “It’s just that I’m really sick of your passive-aggressiveness.”
Dodge: “PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVENESS?!? I’M NOT PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE!”
Reese: “Dodge, you are so passive-aggressive! You cut out on me for no reason and I have to get you towed…”
Dodge: “IT’S YOUR FAULT!! YOU DIDN’T GET ME A NEW TIMING BELT AT 75,000 MILES!!”
Reese: “And then I go get you a timing belt and you work fine. And just when I think everything is cool you dump the whole exhaust system!”
Dodge: “What was I supposed to do?!? You think I didn’t see you looking at that Scion Xa?!? I SAW YOU LOOKING AT THAT SCION Xa!!!”
Reese: “Oh my god, Dodge! You’re so jealous!!! So what if I was looking at a Scion Xa?”
Dodge: “You don’t appreciate me! You don’t love me like you used to!”
Reese: “Okay, Dodge. Let's not point fingers. We're both at fault...”
Dodge: “No, you're at fault! You’re such a heartless witch! You only care about yourself!!”
Reese: “Dodge, let's not do this...”
Dodge: “LET'S NOT DO "THIS?" WHAT IS "THIS?"
Reese: "Dodge..."
Dodge: "I GOT YOU WHERE YOU ARE, SWEETHEART!! I GOT YOU THROUGH LAW SCHOOL IN OHIO! I MOVED YOU BACK TO MARYLAND!”
Reese: “Dodge…”
Dodge: "I GOT YOU DOWN HERE TO FLORIDA WHERE I BAKED IN THIS HOT SUN! YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME!!"
Reese: "Dodge..."
Dodge: “AND I AM TELLLLLINNNNG YOU…I’M NOT GOING!”
Reese: “Oh, lord…”
Dodge: “YOU’RE THE BEST OWNER I’VE EVER KNOWN, AND THERE’S NO WAY I WILL EVER GOOOO…”
Reese: [heavy sigh]
Dodge: “NO, NO THERE’S NO WAY! NO, NO, NO, NO WAY I’M LIVING WITHOUT YOU! I’M NOT LIVING WITHOUT YOU, NOT LIVING WITHOUT YOU. I DON’T WANT TO BE FREEEEEE!”
Reese: “Dodge, please…”
Dodge: “I’M STAYYYYYYINNNNNG! I’M STAYYYYYINNNNNG! AND YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU, YOU’RE GONNA LOVE---”
Reese [ejects Dreamgirls CD]: “Dodge, it’s too late. I already have financing.”
Dodge: “What?”
Reese: “It’s over.”
Dodge: “It’s not over! I SAY WHEN IT’S OVER!!”
Reese: “Dodge, this is ridiculous.”
Dodge: “I’LL GET EVEN REESE!!! YOU’LL SEEE!!! YOU WILL SEEEEE!!!! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!”
Reese: “Whatever.”
Dodge: “Whatever, indeed!! You will pay, Reese the Law Girl. YOU WILLLLLL PAYYYYYYY!!!!”
[To be continued]
© Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.
Dodge: “Talk? Talk about what?”
Reese: “Look, I’m going to be 30 in two months. It’s time for me to get an upgrade.”
Dodge: “Upgrade? Upgrade what?”
Reese: “My car.”
Dodge: “Your car?”
Reese: “Yes.”
Dodge: “That would be me?”
Reese: “Yes.”
Dodge: “Oh, I see…”
Reese: “Look, Dodge, I don’t want this to be difficult…”
Dodge: “So, you’re just going to get rid of me?”
Reese: “It’s just that I’m really sick of your passive-aggressiveness.”
Dodge: “PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVENESS?!? I’M NOT PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE!”
Reese: “Dodge, you are so passive-aggressive! You cut out on me for no reason and I have to get you towed…”
Dodge: “IT’S YOUR FAULT!! YOU DIDN’T GET ME A NEW TIMING BELT AT 75,000 MILES!!”
Reese: “And then I go get you a timing belt and you work fine. And just when I think everything is cool you dump the whole exhaust system!”
Dodge: “What was I supposed to do?!? You think I didn’t see you looking at that Scion Xa?!? I SAW YOU LOOKING AT THAT SCION Xa!!!”
Reese: “Oh my god, Dodge! You’re so jealous!!! So what if I was looking at a Scion Xa?”
Dodge: “You don’t appreciate me! You don’t love me like you used to!”
Reese: “Okay, Dodge. Let's not point fingers. We're both at fault...”
Dodge: “No, you're at fault! You’re such a heartless witch! You only care about yourself!!”
Reese: “Dodge, let's not do this...”
Dodge: “LET'S NOT DO "THIS?" WHAT IS "THIS?"
Reese: "Dodge..."
Dodge: "I GOT YOU WHERE YOU ARE, SWEETHEART!! I GOT YOU THROUGH LAW SCHOOL IN OHIO! I MOVED YOU BACK TO MARYLAND!”
Reese: “Dodge…”
Dodge: "I GOT YOU DOWN HERE TO FLORIDA WHERE I BAKED IN THIS HOT SUN! YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME!!"
Reese: "Dodge..."
Dodge: “AND I AM TELLLLLINNNNG YOU…I’M NOT GOING!”
Reese: “Oh, lord…”
Dodge: “YOU’RE THE BEST OWNER I’VE EVER KNOWN, AND THERE’S NO WAY I WILL EVER GOOOO…”
Reese: [heavy sigh]
Dodge: “NO, NO THERE’S NO WAY! NO, NO, NO, NO WAY I’M LIVING WITHOUT YOU! I’M NOT LIVING WITHOUT YOU, NOT LIVING WITHOUT YOU. I DON’T WANT TO BE FREEEEEE!”
Reese: “Dodge, please…”
Dodge: “I’M STAYYYYYYINNNNNG! I’M STAYYYYYINNNNNG! AND YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU, YOU’RE GONNA LOVE---”
Reese [ejects Dreamgirls CD]: “Dodge, it’s too late. I already have financing.”
Dodge: “What?”
Reese: “It’s over.”
Dodge: “It’s not over! I SAY WHEN IT’S OVER!!”
Reese: “Dodge, this is ridiculous.”
Dodge: “I’LL GET EVEN REESE!!! YOU’LL SEEE!!! YOU WILL SEEEEE!!!! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!”
Reese: “Whatever.”
Dodge: “Whatever, indeed!! You will pay, Reese the Law Girl. YOU WILLLLLL PAYYYYYYY!!!!”
[To be continued]
© Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.
Labels: Upgrade
posted by Reese The Law Girl at 6:25 PM
7 comments
