Reese Gets a New Car: Part 1
Reese: “Look, Dodge…we need to talk.”
Dodge: “Talk? Talk about what?”
Reese: “Look, I’m going to be 30 in two months. It’s time for me to get an upgrade.”
Dodge: “Upgrade? Upgrade what?”
Reese: “My car.”
Dodge: “Your car?”
Reese: “Yes.”
Dodge: “That would be me?”
Reese: “Yes.”
Dodge: “Oh, I see…”
Reese: “Look, Dodge, I don’t want this to be difficult…”
Dodge: “So, you’re just going to get rid of me?”
Reese: “It’s just that I’m really sick of your passive-aggressiveness.”
Dodge: “PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVENESS?!? I’M NOT PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE!”
Reese: “Dodge, you are so passive-aggressive! You cut out on me for no reason and I have to get you towed…”
Dodge: “IT’S YOUR FAULT!! YOU DIDN’T GET ME A NEW TIMING BELT AT 75,000 MILES!!”
Reese: “And then I go get you a timing belt and you work fine. And just when I think everything is cool you dump the whole exhaust system!”
Dodge: “What was I supposed to do?!? You think I didn’t see you looking at that Scion Xa?!? I SAW YOU LOOKING AT THAT SCION Xa!!!”
Reese: “Oh my god, Dodge! You’re so jealous!!! So what if I was looking at a Scion Xa?”
Dodge: “You don’t appreciate me! You don’t love me like you used to!”
Reese: “Okay, Dodge. Let's not point fingers. We're both at fault...”
Dodge: “No, you're at fault! You’re such a heartless witch! You only care about yourself!!”
Reese: “Dodge, let's not do this...”
Dodge: “LET'S NOT DO "THIS?" WHAT IS "THIS?"
Reese: "Dodge..."
Dodge: "I GOT YOU WHERE YOU ARE, SWEETHEART!! I GOT YOU THROUGH LAW SCHOOL IN OHIO! I MOVED YOU BACK TO MARYLAND!”
Reese: “Dodge…”
Dodge: "I GOT YOU DOWN HERE TO FLORIDA WHERE I BAKED IN THIS HOT SUN! YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME!!"
Reese: "Dodge..."
Dodge: “AND I AM TELLLLLINNNNG YOU…I’M NOT GOING!”
Reese: “Oh, lord…”
Dodge: “YOU’RE THE BEST OWNER I’VE EVER KNOWN, AND THERE’S NO WAY I WILL EVER GOOOO…”
Reese: [heavy sigh]
Dodge: “NO, NO THERE’S NO WAY! NO, NO, NO, NO WAY I’M LIVING WITHOUT YOU! I’M NOT LIVING WITHOUT YOU, NOT LIVING WITHOUT YOU. I DON’T WANT TO BE FREEEEEE!”
Reese: “Dodge, please…”
Dodge: “I’M STAYYYYYYINNNNNG! I’M STAYYYYYINNNNNG! AND YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU, YOU’RE GONNA LOVE---”
Reese [ejects Dreamgirls CD]: “Dodge, it’s too late. I already have financing.”
Dodge: “What?”
Reese: “It’s over.”
Dodge: “It’s not over! I SAY WHEN IT’S OVER!!”
Reese: “Dodge, this is ridiculous.”
Dodge: “I’LL GET EVEN REESE!!! YOU’LL SEEE!!! YOU WILL SEEEEE!!!! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!”
Reese: “Whatever.”
Dodge: “Whatever, indeed!! You will pay, Reese the Law Girl. YOU WILLLLLL PAYYYYYYY!!!!”
[To be continued]
© Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.
Dodge: “Talk? Talk about what?”
Reese: “Look, I’m going to be 30 in two months. It’s time for me to get an upgrade.”
Dodge: “Upgrade? Upgrade what?”
Reese: “My car.”
Dodge: “Your car?”
Reese: “Yes.”
Dodge: “That would be me?”
Reese: “Yes.”
Dodge: “Oh, I see…”
Reese: “Look, Dodge, I don’t want this to be difficult…”
Dodge: “So, you’re just going to get rid of me?”
Reese: “It’s just that I’m really sick of your passive-aggressiveness.”
Dodge: “PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVENESS?!? I’M NOT PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE!”
Reese: “Dodge, you are so passive-aggressive! You cut out on me for no reason and I have to get you towed…”
Dodge: “IT’S YOUR FAULT!! YOU DIDN’T GET ME A NEW TIMING BELT AT 75,000 MILES!!”
Reese: “And then I go get you a timing belt and you work fine. And just when I think everything is cool you dump the whole exhaust system!”
Dodge: “What was I supposed to do?!? You think I didn’t see you looking at that Scion Xa?!? I SAW YOU LOOKING AT THAT SCION Xa!!!”
Reese: “Oh my god, Dodge! You’re so jealous!!! So what if I was looking at a Scion Xa?”
Dodge: “You don’t appreciate me! You don’t love me like you used to!”
Reese: “Okay, Dodge. Let's not point fingers. We're both at fault...”
Dodge: “No, you're at fault! You’re such a heartless witch! You only care about yourself!!”
Reese: “Dodge, let's not do this...”
Dodge: “LET'S NOT DO "THIS?" WHAT IS "THIS?"
Reese: "Dodge..."
Dodge: "I GOT YOU WHERE YOU ARE, SWEETHEART!! I GOT YOU THROUGH LAW SCHOOL IN OHIO! I MOVED YOU BACK TO MARYLAND!”
Reese: “Dodge…”
Dodge: "I GOT YOU DOWN HERE TO FLORIDA WHERE I BAKED IN THIS HOT SUN! YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME!!"
Reese: "Dodge..."
Dodge: “AND I AM TELLLLLINNNNG YOU…I’M NOT GOING!”
Reese: “Oh, lord…”
Dodge: “YOU’RE THE BEST OWNER I’VE EVER KNOWN, AND THERE’S NO WAY I WILL EVER GOOOO…”
Reese: [heavy sigh]
Dodge: “NO, NO THERE’S NO WAY! NO, NO, NO, NO WAY I’M LIVING WITHOUT YOU! I’M NOT LIVING WITHOUT YOU, NOT LIVING WITHOUT YOU. I DON’T WANT TO BE FREEEEEE!”
Reese: “Dodge, please…”
Dodge: “I’M STAYYYYYYINNNNNG! I’M STAYYYYYINNNNNG! AND YOU, AND YOU, AND YOU, YOU’RE GONNA LOVE---”
Reese [ejects Dreamgirls CD]: “Dodge, it’s too late. I already have financing.”
Dodge: “What?”
Reese: “It’s over.”
Dodge: “It’s not over! I SAY WHEN IT’S OVER!!”
Reese: “Dodge, this is ridiculous.”
Dodge: “I’LL GET EVEN REESE!!! YOU’LL SEEE!!! YOU WILL SEEEEE!!!! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!”
Reese: “Whatever.”
Dodge: “Whatever, indeed!! You will pay, Reese the Law Girl. YOU WILLLLLL PAYYYYYYY!!!!”
[To be continued]
© Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.
Labels: Upgrade
posted by Reese The Law Girl at 6:25 PM
7 Comments:
I want an upgrade! But I'm agraid of what the Honda would do. I hope you're sleeping with one eye open!
If my last car only knew that I'm going for a foreign one...
...and this is why American car companies are going the way of the dodo. They thought they could be complacent and still satisfy customers.
Bye, Dodge.
Be careful Reese the dodge is not going to go down with out a fight.
My Festiva weeps at your levity.
Sniff.
ROTFL!
"Dodge: 'What was I supposed to do?!? You think I didn’t see you looking at that Scion Xa?!? I SAW YOU LOOKING AT THAT SCION Xa!!!'"
You are sick! :o)
that was sooooooooooo beyond funny - i can't wait for part deux!! (is that how u spell that)
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