Sunday, January 28, 2007

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry (Also, Miami Celebrity Sighting #5: The Cast of Reno 911)

I can already see that the Year of the 30 is going to be all about jacking people up.


Seriously, I’ve been in a really foul mood lately and everyone else is having to pay the price for it. Like a couple of weeks ago when I went to see Stomp the Yard


Reese [in a foul mood]: “Egypt this movie is all sorts of gay…”

Egypt: “Hey, at least there is eye candy.”

Reese [in an increasing foul mood]: “Not only is this movie all sorts of gay, but there are a bunch of idiot 13 year olds sitting in the back of the theater who won’t shut up!”

Egypt: “I know, girl. Just ignore them…”

Reese [seriously foul mood right now]: “I…can’t…”

Egypt: “Reese, just ignore them…”

Reese: “No, no. I’m going to say something…”

Egypt: “Reese, no…”

Reese: “I’m going to handle this…”

Egypt [pleading]: “Reese…”

Reese: “HEY YOU STUPID PARASITES! SHUT THE $%*& UP, RIGHT NOW! IF YOU DON’T, I SWEAR FOR GOD I’LL SHUT YOU UP MYSELF!!!”

Stupid Kids: “Sorry, mami. We’ll be quiet.”

Reese [sticks up middle finger]: “DON’T ANSWER ME WHEN I TELL YOU TO SHUT UP!!!”


And then, when I went to the South Beach Comedy Festival and saw the cast of Reno 911


Reese: “Oh, what the hell? What is this red carpet? What nappy headed rapper is in town now?”

Random Paparazzi: “Duh! It’s the cast of Reno 911. They’re here for a special screening of their new movie!”

Reese: “Oh, cool…”

Random Paparazzi: “Yeah.”

Reese: “Yeah…so…”

“MOVE OUT OF MY WAY SO I CAN SEE THEM! DAMN!!!”



And then, when I went to see Mike Epps at the South Beach Comedy Festival…


[Random Person politely walks through the row to get to their seat and, unfortunately, has to walk past Reese]

Random Person: “Excuse me, Excuse me…”

Reese: “SIT YOUR @$$ DOWN! DON’T YOU KNOW I’M TRYING TO WATCH MIKE EPPS!!!”


And then at the IHOP yesterday morning…


Stupid Kids: “Oh, mommy! I love breakfast!”

Reese: “IF SOMEONE DOESN’T SHUT THEIR KID UP THEY ARE GOING TO GET SUPER EMBARRASED…BY ME…RIGHT NOW!!!”


[Reese makes scary face]


Random Parent: “Okay, honey. Stay away from the scary black woman…”



I think when you turn 30 you stop taking mess from people. Or maybe, I never had the opportunity to take out my aggression during my twenties and it’s coming out now. I’m not sure. But, what I do know is this…



Beware of the Law Girl who turns 30. She will jack you up.




© Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved.

6 Comments:

Blogger Lez said...

kinda early on that 30 right? you should wait until at least May before you start becoming the crazy 30 year old!!

11:44 AM  
Blogger Strength/Courage/Wisdom said...

Good for you! Sometimes people, esp. children, need a good cussing out. =)

11:50 AM  
Blogger Karla said...

I like Reno 911.

I hate going to the movies at a certain time because of the annoying kids.

12:26 AM  
Blogger Juicy77 said...

I think there should be an adults only movie theater.
Don't be an angry 30 Reese. It's okay!

5:40 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

it's okay, i want to smack all those annoying kids too.

and reno 911, hurrah! i saw the trailer for it when i went to he movies this weekend, i'm psyched!

6:01 PM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Somebody needs a hug.

9:25 AM  

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