Thursday, August 25, 2005

Milestones, Passing the Buck, Answering a Tag, and Some Other Junk: Four Posts in One!!!

A Milestone

This is my 100th Post!!!!

I can’t believe you people have stayed around this long to listen to my whining and babbling.

Really, the admiration belongs to you.


Passing the Buck

I have yet another reason why going to Miami is a good thing.

A month ago I made an unholy promise to take my little cousins to this horrible, wretched event called “The Scream Tour.” It’s a concert boasting such headliners as Omarion, Little Bow Wow, and somebody named Pretty Ricky.

Anyways, I was supposed to escort these overly hormonal teenagers into the city, to the arena, and into a room filled with 20,000 screaming girls who all think that they’re going to someday have Bobby Valentino’s baby.

I know, I know. How pathetic do you have to be to think that you would actually have some celebrity’s baby? Stupid kids.

Yeah, so I promised to take them, so I really have been dreading the entire month of August. But, now that I’m moving to Miami on Sunday, I have an excuse not to take them. I have to go out to a little going away party tonight with my friends, thus I won’t be able to take the little terrors to their concert.

But, don’t feel sorry for the little Ashanti’s in Training. My sister CC has to take them now.


She’s not too happy about that. But, alas, she’s not the one moving. So, she’ll just have to deal.

Answering a Tag

Karla tagged me. AGAIN!!!

Seven Things I Plan to Do…

Before I Die

1-7. This is an interesting question. It kinda presumes you would know when you’re going to die. But, you don’t. So, how could you possibly plan to do something before something else happens when you don’t know when that something else will happen?

This question is unanswerable.

Things I Can Do

1. Write
2. Read
3. Sleep
4. Eat
5. Talk on the phone
6. Watch basketball
7. Shop

Things I Can’t Do

1. Run long distances
2. Be nice to everyone
3. Be quiet
4. Speak Japanese
5. Attract non-loser guys
6. Be patient
7. Play basketball

Things I Say Most

1. Whatever
2. Dude
3. Geesh
5. Freakin’
6. Dorkus
7. Idiot

I would tag someone, but I think Karla tagged EVERYONE. So, once again, I’m tagging no one. I should tag the Foxy Brown Show, but something tells me he’d get annoyed. ;)

Some Other Junk

So, this will be my last written post until I get down to and settled in….


But, lucky you people, I had the ingenious idea to audio blog my journey to Miami.

Okay, so I stole the idea from Caro. So, sue me. Caro doesn’t own audio blogger!

At least I hope she doesn’t.

Anyways, stay tuned to hear my lovely, immature voice bring you such hits as…

“I’m in North Carolina Now”


“We Just Ran Over a Raccoon”


“No Wait That Was Actually a Man We Hit”


“I Know What Reese did Last Summer” featuring Crazy, Psycho Man Reese Hit on I-95

Yes, all the hits are here on Something Different. Keep checking back for updates.

PS: I’m going to turn off the Bloglet subscriptions while I do the audio posts. That way you won’t get an e-mail every time I post audio blogs such as…

“That Hitchhiker is Cute, Let’s Pick Him Up”


“I Know We Just Passed the Rest Stop, but I Didn’t Have to Go Then”


“Are We There Yet?”


“Are We There Yet?” (The Remix)

So, keep checking for updates. Also, now would be a good time to check out the archives. You can reminisce and discuss how much I've grown as a person (which was sorta the purpose of this blog in the first place).

Don't worry, the discussion of my personal growth won't last that long.


© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

A Little Pick Me Up

Well, the last few days have been seriously depressing around blog land. I thought I’d post something to cheer us all up. It’s something that I wanted to post months ago, but I didn’t have the courage to do so while I was still working where I was working. But, now that I’m not there anymore, I hope you enjoy it. Maybe it will put a smile on your face.

Even if it is just for a few minutes.


The following is a sequence of e-mails between a Duke fan and a Maryland fan. Always bitter rivals, the fans, and co-workers, have united for this one special occasion…

To get tickets to the 2005 ACC Men’s College Basketball Tournament.

The Tournament starts today....

From: Reese
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:22 AM
To: Alice
Subject: do u think

Oh, my god! We have to get out of here! We’re missing the games!!! We have to go!!!


From: Alice
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:24 AM
To: Reese
Subject: RE: do u think

You’re right, let’s do this!


From: Reese
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:30 AM
To: Alice
Subject: RE: do u think

Cool! So what’s the plan?


From: Alice
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:33 AM
To: Reese
Subject: RE: do u think

I am going to email Clara and tell her I don’t feel too good and I think I’m going to go home…take sick leave...

…but I don’t want Donna to tell her I actually went to get tickets. Do you think Donna will tell Clara something if I leave at 12:30 to head down there?


From: Reese
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:36 AM
To: Alice
Subject: RE: do u think

I don’t know Donna that well. She seems nice enough, but do you think she would do that? Maybe she’ll just keep quiet. It would be pretty 1st grade to go and tell.


From: Alice
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:38 AM
To: Reese
Subject: RE: do u think


I don’t think she would say anything either.

So, are these tickets just for Maryland alumni? Or for everyone?


From: Reese
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:40 AM
To: Alice
Subject: RE: do u think

The press release just said “fans” so I think it’s for anyone. If it’s for alumni, don’t worry. I’m an alumnus of Maryland. 


From: Alice
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:43 AM
To: Reese
Subject: RE: do u think


I’m going to head down there around 12:30 and should get down there by 1:30.
I’ll just wait in line and see what happens.



From: Reese
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:45 AM
To: Alice
Subject: RE: do u think

Okay. Is there an ATM machine in this building? I can get cash to give to you for my tix if that’s okay?

This is so awesome!!!


From: Alice
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:47 AM
To: Reese
Subject: RE: do u think

Sure no problem!! I don’t think there is an ATM in the building, but I can drive you to one though if you want.



From: Reese
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:50 AM
To: Alice
Subject: RE: do u think


LOL! I can’t believe I’m conspiring with a Dookie to get tix. I would call myself a traitor, but any Terp fan would understand the importance of this alliance.


From: Alice
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:52 AM
To: Reese
Subject: RE: do u think

No prob! It’s great to meet another person who LOVES watching basketball!!
Even though they’re a Twerp fan!


From: Reese
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:54 AM
To: Alice
Subject: RE: do u think



Now, it’s on!!!

Fear the turtle, Dookie!


PS: I hope you now know that there is no way I’m rooting for Dook. Even if you are sitting next to me in Blue Devil Blue.


From: Alice
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:57 AM
To: Reese
Subject: RE: do u think

Did you just cal me a Dookie?

Of course you went to Maryland. You Twerps are so crass.

Bring it on!!

You and your dumb mascot!!!

PS: I hope you now know that there is no way I’m rooting for the Twerps. Even if you are sitting next to me in Maryland Red.


From: Reese
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:59 AM
To: Alice
Subject: RE: do u think

Oh, I’ll bring it! I’ll bring my whole team AND our dumb mascot!


Our mascot isn’t dumb!



From: Alice
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 12:01 PM
To: Reese
Subject: RE: do u think



From: Reese
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 12:04 PM
To: Alice
Subject: RE: do u think



From: Alice
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 12:06 PM
To: Reese
Subject: RE: do u think



From: Reese
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 12:08 PM
To: Alice
Subject: RE: do u think

I feel much better now that the requisite amount of hate has been restored into our relationship.

You better get ready to go before Donna can start something!


From: Alice
Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:52 AM
To: Reese
Subject: RE: do u think


ACC Tournament, here we come!!!

© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Things to Do

I made a list of things I have to do when I get to Miami…

1. Find a place to live.

2. Find some friends. Preferably of the rich variety as I’m sick of having poor friends.

3. Find a cute boy to hang out with who will take me to University of Miami basketball games.

4. Find the local bootleg anime store.

5. Find the best hair braiding salon. They better have one or I swear I’m moving back to the Chesapeake.

6. Go Shopping.

7. Go shopping some more.

8. Find a religious institution to attend.

9. Make cute boy who takes me to basketball games fall in love with me.

10. Go to the Caribbean with my new rich friends on an all expenses paid vacation (i.e., my part of the vacation is paid for by my new rich friends).

11. Don’t invite old, poor friends on trip.

12. While on vacation at celebrity resort with rich friends, run into Orlando Bloom and faint.

13. Wake up in hospital with Orlando Bloom looking over top of me with a concerned look on his face.

14. Get taken care of the whole vacation by Orlando Bloom.

15. By end of vacation, Orlando falls in love with me and proposes we get married.

16. Break up with cute boy who took me to the basketball games.

17. Marry Orlando Bloom and invite none of my friends to the wedding. I know those conniving witches would just try to steal Orlando from me.

18. Buy a great house on the Chesapeake Bay with Orlando and live happily ever after.

The way I figure it, I should be able to get all this accomplished in about 6 months.

This move to Miami is going to suit me just fine. ;)

Thursday, August 18, 2005

I'm It Again!!

I got tagged by Karla. Here's the newest meme....


What Were you Doing 5yrs Ago?

I was in my first year of law school. Right about now, we were completing a week long orientation class.

This was also the exact moment when I started to lose my mind.


I was continuing my eventual path to catotonic schizophrenia.

5 Snacks I Enjoy?

Let’s see…

Ice cream, Cheesecake, Anything with Chocolate, Carmel Popcorn, Peach Soda (is that a snack?)

5 Songs I Know All of the Words To?

It would be easier for me to just list the artists as I know all of the words to all of these people’s songs:

Alanis Morissette
Teena Marie
Janet Jackson
No Doubt
Micheal Jackson

5 Things I’d do with a Million Dollars?

First, I’d take all of my friends to Las Vegas. We’d have an uber suite at the Belagio (or that new hotel The Wynn). We’d stay in Vegas for a week and go shopping and party. I probably would hire Brad Pitt to be our collective date for the whole week. Man, that would be so much fun.

After that, I’d pay off my bills and my mom’s bills. I might pay off CC’s bills if she’s nice to me. ;)

Then, I’d buy a house with waterfront property and then another house at Lake Meade because I really like Lake Meade.

Then, I’d hire one of my friends to be my friend and that would be their job- to be my friend.

Then, me and my friend would go travel around the world. First stop is Tokyo so I can pick up some wicked cool anime. Then off to Caracas, Venezuela to see the Miss Venezuela pagent. I saw a report about it on 20/20. It’s like one big party for the whole country! And, of course, I need to be where the party is at.

Then, after about a year or two of traveling around the world, I’d start an organization to rid the world of frustrating people. Thanx to my efforts, we would no longer have to hear about Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and J.Lo.

5 Bad Habits I Have?

I get annoyed easily, I tend to not think positivly, I spend too much money, Sometimes I can be very loud, I’m way to picky

5 Favorite TV Shows?

I’ll do current TV shows...

Desperate Housewives, The 4400, Naruto, Lost, W.I.T.C.H.

5 Biggest Joys of the Moment?

My family, my friends, my summer of fun, my brand new briefcase, and my brand new Steve Madden pumps that I got for 50% off in Connecticut

Has anyone not done this meme?

I tag Jerk, R, and The Mon (aka Colm, if he’s still reading).

Oh, and I tag Kim for the songs meme.

So, I'm a little late to the game. So, what?

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Losing It

You know how I’ve been saying that I’m losing my mind? Well, it’s true. I am. And it’s all because of this crazy job situation I’ve been in. I can’t make up my mind about what I want and/or what I don’t want. I think I’m descending into madness; and, it’s really scaring me.

June 2005

So, in June I quit my job. I really had to. If I didn’t, I’m quite sure I would have been fired. Not because I did anything wrong, but because my supervisor was insane (I think I caught the crazy I have now from her).

Boss Lady: “Reese, the Congress is having hearings on steroids. They want to know how many of our grantees are working on steroids prevention and if the language of the statute even addresses steroid abuse. Oh, and they want the information by tomorrow. Get crackin!”

Reese: “This is stupid!!! We have 1000’s of grantees!! How am I supposed to find out this information by tomorrow? I’m just an attorney. Ask one of the project officers or something. Who the hell cares about steroids anyways?!?!”

Okay, wait, I wish I had actually said that. But, my punk behind didn’t actually say that. What I actually said was…

Reese: “That’s a tall order as we have 1000’s of grantees. I’ll definitely look into the law and see what I can find out from the project officers about which grantees are working on steroids.”

So, after doing all of that work and finding out that no one cares about steroids, I went and told my boss of findings…

Reese: “No one cares about steroids.”

Boss Lady: “What are you talking about?”

Reese: “Uhhh, you asked me to find out which grantees were working on steroid abuse and the legal status of steroid prevention and I basically found nothing.”

Boss Lady: “You mean you wasted your time doing something like that?!?!”

Reese: “You told me the Congress asked for…”

Boss Lady: “I can’t believe you’ve been wasting your time on some sort of whimsical quest! We have work to do!!!”

Reese: “But, you said…”

Boss Lady: “We need to train the project officers on the statutory provisions of the grant. That’s what you should be working on. Understand?!?!”

Reese: “No, not really. But, whatever.”

Boss Lady: “You young people. Always trying to skip out on the hard work!”

Of course, by the end of the day, she was at my desk again asking me where my findings were for Congress. And, I was yet again dumbfounded.

So, I quit. It was either her or me. I didn’t want to lose my bar license, so I thought it was best that I move on.

July 2005

So, during the month of July I started applying for jobs at a maddening pace. Is this what made me crazy? Who knows? But, it got to the point that I didn’t even remember what jobs I had applied for and where those jobs were. Also, because I was unemployed, I was basically chilling at home. The days were beginning to run together and I think I started to lose myself in what had seemed to be an endless summer…

[Phone Rings Loudly]

Reese: “Geez! Who is that calling me at the ungodly hour of Noon!?!? Don’t they know I just went to sleep at 6am?!?!”


???: “Hello. May I speak to Ms. Law Girl please?”

Reese [yawning]: “She’s not here.”

???: “Oh, well, will you tell her that Mr. Santos called her? She recently applied for a general counsel position with us in Miami and…”

Reese [suddenly waking up]: “Oh, wait, that’s me.”

Mr. Santos: “Oh, but I thought you said…”

Reese: “I thought you were talking about someone else.”

Mr. Santos: “Oooo-kay. Well, Ms. Law Girl, we would like to conduct an interview with you. Would you be available next Monday at around 1:00 p.m. for the interview?”

Reese: “Uhhh, where is this again?”

Mr. Santos: “Miami.”

Reese: “Uhhh, you do know that I live near the Chesapeake Bay? I’m no where near Miami.”

Mr. Santos: “It would be a telephone interview, Mr. Law Girl.”

Reese: “OHHHHHH!! Why didn’t you say so before? Sure, yea, Monday’s good.”

Mr. Santos: “Great. The Judge will call you at 1:00…”

Reese: “JUDGE?!?! There’s a Judge involved in all of this? Wait, what job is this again?”

Mr. Santos: “Hahahaha!!! Ms. Law Girl I like you already. You’re so funny.”

Reese: “Yea, but…”

Mr. Santos: “1:00, Monday. Good luck!!”

Reese: “Hey, wait!!”


Reese: “Oh, this is just great. I don’t even know what this job is all about. I should go and find the job announcement and research what they’re looking for. But, on the other hand my bed is soft and I am really sleepy. I think I’ll do that instead- the sleepy thing.”

So, after finally finding out what this job was all about (just a couple of hours before the interview of course) I sat and waited for either my home phone or my cell phone to ring. I was ready to impress the Judge with my thoroughly thought-out BS.

So, I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until I realized that it was 1:15 p.m. and I had not received a phone call!

I was really confused because my phones were on, they were not on silent, and there was no phone call.

And then, when I’m just about to assume that the Judge must be on CP time, my phone begins to chime the little Voicemail chime to let me know that I have a Voicemail. So, I check my voicemail only to hear the following message…

Judge: “I’m calling to conduct an interview with Ms. Law Girl. She was supposed to be interviewing with me at 1:00 p.m. but, I received no answer. I guess she’s just an unreliable slacker and I hate her already. Goodbye.”

Yes, that’s right. The Judge had called my home AND cell phone and, I swear to you guys, neither phone rang!! I mean, the phones were sitting right in front of me. And they didn’t ring!!!!

To this day, I have no idea how this happened! Was it a curse? Did God not want me to go to Miami? Was I losing my mind and the phones had actually rang? I don’t know! I really don’t know!

So, after frantically hunting down Mr. Santos and the Judge, and telling the TRUTH instead of a well thought out lie, my interview was rescheduled…

Judge: “So, tell me about your last job experience.”

Reese: “Well, I worked as…”

Judge: “That’s great. And, how well do you do working with tight deadlines?”

Reese: “Very well, I think. Currently, I’m…”

Judge: “Good, good. Well, that’s about all I need from you. Thanx.”

Reese: “Ummm, okay, well thanx for…”


Reese: “And, well, that’s that.”

August 2005

Truthfully, I knew I wasn’t going to get the job in Miami. The only reason why I went through with the rescheduled interview was because I didn’t want it going around my professional community that I was a total loon.

Yes, I know that I am a nut. But, I didn’t want other lawyers to think that.

So, imagine my surprise when I found out Monday that I actually did get the job. And, that I was expected to be in Miami by the first week in September. I just needed to decide if I wanted to go.

Easy task, right? Just go to Miami.

No, not so easy.

See, sometimes, I have a problem making decisions. I’m also a natural realist [read: pessimist], so this sometimes hinders my decision making process. Here’s the discussion I’m currently having with myself about this job.

10:00 a.m., Yesterday

Reese: “I’M GOING TO MIAMI!!!!”

10:15 a.m., Yesterday

Reese: “There’s NO WAY I’m going to Miami. I’m going to hate Miami. All of those pretentious, image conscious P. Diddy wannabes!!! I’m not going to fit in there! THAT’S IT! I’M NOT GOING!!!”

10:16 a.m., Yesterday

Reese: “Man, I am soooo broke!!! I need some money!!! Guess I’m going to Miami!!!”

10:05 a.m., Yesterday

Reese [starting to get the crazy shakes]: “Man, I’m way too broke! There’s no way I can afford to get to Miami. Plus, I’m going to need to get a new car as my piece of crap car won’t make the trip down there. This is not going to happen!!! No, it can’t! We can’t let it happen!!!”

“Did time just go backwards?”

10:20 a.m., next Saturday

Reese [Will Smith video playing in the background; crazy shakes developing rhythm of the hip-hop beat]: “Welcome to Miami! Bienvenudos a Miami!!”

This pattern of lunacy has continued every minute of every hour of every day since I found out I got the job. I have way too many emotions about this move. I want to go and the thought of me not going is depressing. But, I also don’t want to go for many various reasons, one of which is I absolutely love where I live now.

As it stands now, I am definitely going to Miami. I’m just going to complain about moving until I get there. But, I am definitely going.


Without a doubt.

No, doubt in my mind…

Well, maybe a little doubt.

And a few voices.


I guess, only time will tell.

Stay tuned.

© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

I'm It! I'm It!

I've been tagged by Dez. Here's the meme thingie. :)

List ten songs you are currently doesn't matter what genre, or if they have words, or even if they're no good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists and the tens songs on your Blog. Then tag five other people to see what they're listening to.

1. “1 Thing”- Amerie

2. “Hazel Eyes”- Kelly Clarkson

3. “Free Yourself”- Fantasia

4. “Helena”- My Chemical Romance

5. “Don’t Cha” – The Pussycat Dolls

6. “Hollaback Girl” – Gwen Stefani

7. “En Tus Pupilas” – Shakira

8. “Touch” – Omarion

9. “Like You” – Bow Wow & Ciara

10. “Go” – Common

11. “Lonely No More” –Rob Thomas

Okay, there you go. Yea, I know, it’s not 10 songs, it’s 11. So, what? Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?!?


Also, I’m not tagging anyone because I think everyone has already been tagged.

Yea, that’s right, I break the rules. I’m a rebel without a brain stem. So, what? Whatcha gonna do about it, huh?!?!


Yea, that’s what I thought. ;p~~~

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Where in the World is Reese?

If you guessed Connecticut and Upstate New York you would be right.

I went on a trip with a massive amount of family and friends to the Northeast for the past several days. The trip was a blast and I even met a cute boy who I spent most of the trip with.

Too bad we’re semi-related and nothing can ever happen because of it.

I’m really bitter about that too. He should have told me that my Great Aunt married his Great Uncle. But, no, he had to pretend that there was no relation. And, then he kept saying “There’s no blood between us! We’re related only through a marriage!” But, I won’t fall for his slick reasoning. We’re related, so I’m steering clear.

Anyways, on the way back home, we stopped at a couple of malls and went shopping. Of course, now that I’m on my thrift fast until Lil’ Kim is released from prison, I went all out and spent what little money I had left in my savings account (aka my wallet).

One of the malls we went to was in New Jersey. It was an outlet mall called Jersey Gardens or something. While there, I witnessed acts so horrible and horrific that they’re just too horrendous to repeat here on this blog. But, for the good of all women who live in New Jersey, I do have this little tidbit of information that I believe will make a difference in their lives…


I don’t say this to hurt your feelings, but you need to know that the way you dress is absolutely and terribly disgusting.

I’m sorry, I know that’s harsh, but not every cute little Britney Spears outfit looks good on every body. Unless your tummy is flat and booty is acceptably round, there is no reason…

Let me repeat…


…to wear halter tops that cut off at your boobies, which, incidentally seem to hang down to your navel, along with low-rider jean shorts that show off your Frederick’s of Hollywood thong. This is especially true when you are toting around your 3 & 5 year old daughters!!!

Please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, take a lesson from your hip NYC and preppy Connecticut neighbors. You can look good even when you cover up. I promise you, this is true.


Yea, so that’s basically where I’ve been all this time. Unfortunately, I wasn’t kidnapped by Brad Pitt, but I did have some fun with some family and friends.

So, umm, there’s a potential to have quite a few blog postings this week. I understand I’ve been tagged (I’m working on it Dez!), so that’s coming up. Also, my observations from the Teena Marie/Vivian Green concert I went to last week, I’ll try to post that this week. And, maybe, if we’re all lucky and bow down on the ground that I walk on, I might put mind to pen to paper for a little Dysfunctional Relationship that’s been missing for about a month.

No promises, but we’ll see.

Oh, and I noticed that quite a few people have taken my quiz. Or, maybe one person took it over and over again, but anyways, I just wanted to give a shout-out to all of my secret blog readers.

I see you. You can’t escape from my view!!


Just kidding, of course.

Or am I?


Yes, it’s true, I have lost my mind.

Here’s the latest scoreboard for my quiz.

Peace and Chicken Grease!!

© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

Monday, August 08, 2005

And Now, a Moment With My Grandfather: Moment #47

So, a little back-story here…

See, when my Grandmother passed away last December, the family was worried about my Grandfather living alone. So, I was made the sacrificial lamb and forced to move to the boonies to keep him company until one of my aunts could move in. Since I’ve been living with my Grandfather, I’ve had many crazy moments with him. I thought it would be therapeutic to start sharing some of them on my blog. This is Moment #47....

Reese: “AHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

Granddad: ‘What’s wrong with you child?!?!”

Reese: “Granddad, I have to go to court today, but I can’t get out of the house!!!”

Granddad: “Why not?”

Reese: “Because, there’s a wasp nest out on the porch!!! Every time I go outside, those god forsaken insects come out of their nest and try to kill me!!!”


Reese: “What’s so funny?!?!”

Granddad: “Girl, there ain’t no wasp nest out there!”

Reese: “YES, THERE IS!!!”

Granddad: “That’s just some little bumble-bees. They ain’t gonna hurt you.”

Reese: “Granddad, those are not bumble-bees. Those are big, black, skinny wasps, and they’re trying to kill me!!”

Granddad: “Ain’t no wasps nest out there girl!!”

Reese: “Then what is that brown cocoon structure hanging from the roof?!?”

Granddad: “A cocoon.”


Granddad [inspecting obvious wasp nest]: “Alright, alright let me see here...”

“Well, I’ll be! It is a wasp nest!!”

Reese: “See, I told you!!!”

Granddad: “Alright, but, these things ain’t gonna bother you. The city done made you crazy. These wasps ain’t worried about you.”


Granddad: ‘They ain’t gonna bother you. C’mon outside.”

Reese: [looking hesitant]

Granddad: “C’mon girl!!”

Reese [stepping outside]: “Okay….”



Granddad: “Well, I’ll be dogon!! Those wasps are trying to kill you!! AHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”

Reese: “It’s not funny, Granddad!!”

Granddad: “Yes, it is!!”

Reese: “We have to do something about this! This is dangerous!!!”

Granddad: “Oh, I’ll get rid of the nest, don’t worry.”

Reese: “You will?”

Granddad: “Yea, I’ll go get some kerosene and that’ll get rid of them.”

Reese: Reese: “Kerosene? Is this one of those crazy, Southern, home remedies? Are we going to die because of it?”

Granddad: “It’s not crazy!! I stick some kerosene up in the hive and the fumes will drive the wasps away forever.”

Reese: “So, we’re not going to die because of it?”

Granddad: “NO!”

Reese: “Well, that’s good to know. So, can you do this now, I got to get going?”

Granddad: “Can’t do it now. It’s too hot outside. If I do it now, the kerosene is likely to explode and kill us all!!!”

Reese: “WHAT?!?!? I thought you said…”

Granddad: “Looks like you not going to court today. Hehehehehehe….”

Reese: “Fine, whatever. If you need me, I’ll be in my room…writing my last will and testament.”

Granddad: “Last will and testament? But, you ain’t got nothing to leave to nobody?”

Reese: “Arggghh!!! Goodbye, Granddad!!!”

© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Pouring out a 40 for Lil' Kim (Stolen from Grouchy)

"The Jump Off - Featuring Mr. C..." ByLil' Kim

I got the idea to put a video on my blog from Grouchy . And, for my first ever video, I decided to honor none other than Lil' Kim herself. She shouldn't be going to federal prison for a year, ya'll. That just ain't right.

I'm gonna go buy a 40 and then wastefully pour it out on the ground, for ya Kim!!!


Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Icon Bazaar

What Icons are for you?
Favourite Colour
Your Love icon is...
Your Sad Icon is...
Your Happy Icon is...
Your Angry Icon is...
Your Food Icon is...
Your Animal Icon is...
Your Random Icon is...
Your Cartoon Icon is...
Your Sexy Icon is...
Quiz created with MemeGen!