Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Random Thoughts

Still a Refugee


So, I can’t get back home to Miami. The airports are closed. Also, I’m not quite sure my house is still standing or my car isn’t floating in the Atlantic. Stay tuned, I guess…



FYI


You’ll notice that I changed the introduction and that little description about myself. They’re both quotes from the fantabulous book I’m reading- Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire. It seems that I’m the only person in the world who didn’t know that Wicked was a not just a musical, but a book as well. In any case, the book is great so far, you should check it out.



Finding Lost Treasures


Okay, so while I’m hanging out at home in Maryland, I found something that I literally haven’t seen in [insert number: less than 10, but more than 5] years! It’s this stupid “letter” I wrote to myself on my twentieth birthday. It appears that I thought turning 20 was such a milestone, that I actually wrote about all of my “feelings” about turning 20 the night before my birthday. Although at the time I wrote, “[m]ay no one ever read this, but Reese,” I’m going to post the letter here so all of you can laugh at me.


Go ahead, it’s okay.


But first some observations:

1. Boy, was I way dramatic at 19/20. I mean, 20 is not old! What did I think was going to happen? Was I going to die? I mean, really. This was just silly.

2. I didn’t realize that I had an obsession with Karma at such a young age. Interesting.

3. Lot’s of run-on sentences and not enough commas. Commas are our friend. We should use them more often.

4. Funny, how I didn’t realize that I really didn’t turn 20 at midnight on my birthday. I mean, I was born at 1:00 in the afternoon, so really at midnight I still had a few more hours of “19” still left in me.

5. I swear this is the cheesiest crap I have ever written in my entire life. What the hell was I on? If I remember correctly, it was nothing, which makes the whole thing even more sad. I may have to take this down after a day or two. It’s just so god awful. I don’t even know why I’m posting it. Ewww…


Okay, so anyways, enjoy all of my overly-dramatic, Karma obsessed, cheesy self from back in the day. Read it now, while you still can.


And, yes, Dez, this letter is ENTIRELY real. ;)


---------------------------



“July 6, 19__: 11:30pm


Well, it’s about to happen. The inevitable. I’m turning 20!

In just a few minutes I will be officially an adult. The horror!! Ick! I can’t say that I’m really looking forward to this. The truth is, I’m not. It’s not so much that I feel old, it’s (I do, btw) that I feel like I can’t be a kid anymore. Like, everything goes downhill from here. But, what can I do? Just deal with it I suppose. Anyways, I thought at this most historic time period in my life I should document my thoughts. Here are some more:

How weird that I’m spending the very first day of my twentieth year in my cousin’s room? The exact place where she spent her twentieth year. And, here’s the kicker- I’m spending this historic moment in the place, town, county, whatever that I hate most. How’s that for Karma?!? Well, the clock is ticking…I think I’ll call time to see how much I have left.

11:47:40- About 12 minutes to go. I suppose if something this big is gonna happen to me, I’m definitely going to stick around for it. So, with my remaining time, I’d like to quickly go through my life:

Birth: ?

1-3: Still dazed

4-5: Kinda fun

6-10: Southern Maryland years; not that great

11-13: Much better

14-17: High School at Q.O.; pretty cool, for the most part

18: New direction; dazed again

19: I think this was my best year thus far; I hope all my years are like this


And so, here we are. Sunday, July 6. Quiet, dark, solemn. Just a few hours ago, this house was noisy full with people, but now- still. I am sooo tired, but I must see this through. This writing seems so juvenile, but I must do this. I’m glad I’m by myself. I do better alone, I think.

Hmmm…right now, some random thoughts


…mixed emotions…sleepy…tired…waiting…wondering…hoping I get my classes next semester…how much longer??...sleeping to No Doubt tonight…time, time…stomach a bit upset…


11:59:20pm…11:59:30pm…11:59:40pm…11:59:50pm…12:00:00am!!


I’M 20!!!!!


How do I feel? I don’t know. I’m not happy though. My aunt’s clock is late. Anyways, I suppose that’s all I have to say. I’m going to sleep now.


Ciao!
Peace!
Peace, Love, and Happiness!!
Bye.”



The rest of the letter just has my name written in various signatures with hearts and stars all over the place. I also list all of my favorites at the time (favorite team, hero, movie, show, soap opera, etc.). ALL of them are no longer my favorites now, which is just typical I guess.




© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I Stole it from Dez






You Are Most Like Miranda!


While you've had your fair share of romance, men don't come first

Guys are a distant third to your friends and career.

And this independence *is* attractive to some men, in measured doses.

Remember that if you imagine the best outcome, it might just happen.



Romantic prediction: Someone from your past is waiting to reconnect...

But you'll have to think of him differently, if you want things to work.




Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You Most Like?
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Find the Love of Your Life
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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Bad Karma

The Power that is, is obviously upset with me. Over the past few weeks, the following bad things have happened to me:


1. I moved to Hurricane Alley.

2. My car decided not to go anywhere anymore.

3. I had to bribe my car with $500.00 worth of repairs in order to make it go.

4. I found out the cute boy I like, likes some other chick. Bastard.

5. My glasses broke.

6. My contacts decided to attack my eyes.

7. Vicky2 (my precious laptop) broke down completely.

8. I dropped my MP3 player on the floor.

9. The US Postal Service refuses to forward my mail.

10. A hurricane the size of Africa is about to hit my house. And, only my house, I’m sure.

11. I had to spend nearly $500.00 to get a flight out of this Hurricane Hellhole called Miami.

12. My mother just announced that she may be getting re-married. I’m not sure if I support this idea.

13. I suspect that this is the end of the world, and I’m not sure how God feels about me.

14. Oh, and I’m broke.



Tah-freakin’-dah! My life, my misery, my horror. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to get any better.


At least the Smurfs are dead, though.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Tales from the Childhood: The Contract

Fall, 1988.


Early on, everyone thought that CC was going to be the lawyer in the family. Watch and you’ll see why, as a 10 year old, Reese inquires as to what her 5 year old sister is doing at the kitchen table…


Reese: “CC, you’re too quiet. What are you doing?”

CC: [smiles mischievously]

Reese: “CC, what are you doing!?”

CC: “Oh, nothing…”

Reese: “What are you writing on that piece of paper?”

CC: “This piece of paper is going to make me rich!”

Reese [sighing]: “Explain.”

CC: “It’s a contract.”

Reese: “A contract?"

CC: “Yea.”

Reese: “And, what does this contract say?”

CC: “I’m soooo smart. Okay, listen, this is what it says…”

“I, the Mommy, being of sound boddie do promissse to God that I will give CC $10.00 evrry day as her alowwanse.”

Reese: “Uh-huh.”

CC: “And, then I’m going to get Mommy to sign it. And, then, I’m going to get $10.00 everyday and I’m going to be RICH!!!!”

Reese: “Well, I think you have a couple of problems.”

CC: “Yea?”

Reese: “Yea. First of all, we don’t get an allowance, because we’re poor.”

CC: “Hmmm??”

Reese: “And, secondly, Mommy would never give you $10 everyday, because we’re poor.”

CC: “Those are good points.”

Reese: “So, why don’t you just put that away and go draw or something before you do something that gets me in trouble.”

CC: “No, I don’t think so.”

Reese: “Listen, CC, you’ll never get Mommy to sign that.”

CC: “Yes, I will.”

Reese [sighing]: “Explain.”

CC: “Mommy’s asleep right now, right? Well, you know how she is when she’s asleep? If you wake her up, she’ll do anything you want just to go back to sleep. So, I go in her room, I wake her up and tell her to sign my contract, she signs it, and then, CA-CHING!!”

Reese: “Hmmm??”

CC [singing and doing a little tap dance]: “I’m in the money. I’m in the money. I’ve got a lot of what it takes to get a long.”

Reese: “That’s actually a good idea.”

CC: “Watch and learn from the Master, big sister.”



So, CC does exactly what she said she would do. She goes into her Mom’s room. She wakes her Mom up. And…


CC [yelling]: “MOM, WAKE UP!!!”

Mom [startled]: “Huzzah?? Whatttdoyawant-zzzzzzz…”

CC [still yelling]: “MOM, SIGN THIS!!”

Mom: “Whozza?”

Reese: “Mom, I don’t think you should sign that.”

Mom: “I’msleeppin’-zzzz…”

CC: “MOM, SIGN THIS AND I’LL GO AWAY!!! HERE’S A PEN!!!”

Mom: “Whazza…hereegimmie…there…signed…go…zzzzzz….”

CC: “YES!!”

Reese: “Well, I’ll be…”

Mom: “Gooo!!! Zzzzzzzz….”



The Next Morning…



Mom: “Good Morning, girls. Ready for school?”

Reese: “Yea.”

CC: “I will be when you give me my money.”

Mom [looking at CC like she’s a strange alien from a strange planet not yet discovered by NASA]: “Little girl, what are you talking about?”

CC: “You owe me $10. Pay up!”

Mom: “Oh, no she didn’t. What? Reese, what is she talking about?”

Reese: “Well…”

CC: “Excuse me, but you agreed to pay me $10 everyday!”

Mom: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

CC: “It’s not funny!”

Mom: “Oh, CC. You know, when you sleep at night, and you have a dream, it’s not real, honey.”

CC: “It wasn’t a dream. I have the contract right here!”

Mom [reading the contract CC just shoved at her]: “I, the Mommy, being of sound boddie do promisssse to…”

“WHAT?!?!!”

CC: “Pay up!”

Reese: “I told you not to sign it.”

Mom: “I signed this?!?!”

Reese: “You were sleeping. CC came into your room, woke you up into a half-sleep and made you sign that contract.”

CC: “You promised, Mom. And, you always said if you promise something you have to do it. So, pay up!!”

Mom: [stunned silence]

Reese: “Oooo, you’re going to get it now, CC.”

Mom [yelling]: “REESE, HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?!?!”

Reese: “Me?!?! I’m the good child, remember? Not the devil’s spawn who came up with this idea. PLUS, I told you not to sign it. You didn’t listen to me!!!”

CC: “Pay up!!”

Mom: “Okay, first of all, Reese, no more playing with your friends until you learn how to watch after your sister…”

Reese [yelling]: “WHAT?!?!! HOW IS IT THAT I’M IN TROUBLE FOR THIS?!?!!”

Mom: “And, secondly, CC, this is a good time to explain a little life lesson. And, that lesson is, sometimes we don’t get what we want.”

CC: “ ‘Don’t get what we want’? Forget that! We have a contract! You’re in breach of your contract!”

Mom: “Okay, now that that’s all settled, everyone off to school.”

CC [yelling]: “YOU’RE IN BREACH!! BREACHER!!!”

Reese [yelling]: “HOW AM I IN TROUBLE FOR THIS?!?!”

Mom [sighing]: “What a way to start off a morning.”




© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Stolen


You are Peter Gibbons..
and you just don't give a fuck.

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Sunday, October 02, 2005

Thundercats, Ho!


This is Lion-O.


When I was 7, I thought I was going to marry Lion-O.


Yea….


If you really think about it, that’s disturbing. I mean, Lion-O was half-lion or something. And his hands were claws. I mean, can you imagine? That would make certain things painful.


Anyways, as I’m rediscovering my love of the Thundercats, by watching the entire first season on DVD, I realize how wonderful this show really was. It actually stands the test of time very well. Plus, it taught me some very important lessons…


1. If you don’t ask for help, no one is going to come rescue you from an evil Mummy who lives in a pyramid.


This is the most important lesson. In Thundercats, Lion-O used to get in all kinds of trouble. But, no one would help him until he used the Sword of Omens to alert the other Thundercats that he was in trouble. I mean Lion-O could be kidnapped by Mumm-ra and be held prisoner for 8 weeks, but if he didn’t use the Sword of Omens…well…


Snarf [the most annoying cartoon character ever created]: “Snarf, snarf. I haven’t seen Lion-O around since a month from last Tuesday. Maybe we should go look for him? Snarf, snarf.”

Tygra: “Aww, he’s alright. I mean, if he was in trouble he would have asked for our help using the Sword of Omens. No Sword of Omens, no help. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get it on with the Tree-top Warrior Maidens.”

Snarf: “Snarf, but…”

Tygra: “Tree. Top. Warrior. Maidens.”

Snarf: “Oh, snarf…”



You see what I’m talking about? The Thundercats were completely useless unless Lion-O called for their help. Just like in real life. When you’re stuck on the side of the road because your car decided it didn’t want to accelerate anymore, if you don’t use the Sword of Omens to call the Thundercats to pick you up, they just won’t come.


Incompetent bastards.


2. Half-human, Half-Cat Men can also be Half-Black.


In case you were asleep as a child, you should have picked up on the fact that one of the Thundercats was black.


I’m serious.


As a 7 year old little black girl, I instantly knew that Panthro was the black Thundercat when I saw the first episode. I mean he “sounded” black, he had some black “features,” he even was known to throw out some hip-hop slang every now and then…


Snarf: “Snarf, snarf. Panthro, Lion-O is missing. I think he may be in trouble. Snarf.”

Panthro: “Yo, yo, yo, Snarf! That [insert mammalian epithet] is fine, yo! Now, don’t be botherin’ me now. I’m gettin’ it on with those fine ho’s from the Tree-top Warrior Kingdom.”

Snarf: “Snarf, but…”

Panthro: “Tree. Top. Warrior. Ho's. Foo’!!”

Snarf: “Oh, snarf…”



Panthro = Black. I’m telling you!



3. Cheetara was the shiznet!


Do you think Cheetara is my new avatar just because she has cool hair? No way! Cheetara was awesome! And, she knew it…


Snarf: “Snarf, snarf. Cheetara, please, we must find Lion-O!”

Cheetara [looking at herself in the mirror]: “I’m much too pretty and too cool to go rescuing Lion-O without a call from the Sword of Omens.”

“I wonder if I can find some Tree-top Warrior Hot Boys? I should be able to search all of Third-Earth in about 5 minutes. I think I’ll do that.”



Cheetara = Awesome. ‘Nuff said.



4. Claims that someone or something can see into the future are untrue. The most that can happen is that the person or thing can see into the present.


The Sword of Omens. What do you think of when you think of a Sword of Omens? A sword that can see into the future? Oh, not so, my friend. The Sword of Omens could only see into the present. If that.


Lion-O: “Ohhh, I’m severely injured. I’ve been in this dungeon for 8 weeks. Won’t someone come get me? Sword of Omens, give me sight beyond sight. Will anyone come save me?”

Sword of Omens [speaking with a fake, Jamaican accent]: “Me child, call me now and for $2.00 a minute I will tell you what your friends are doing right now.”

Lion-O: “Sword, I don’t want to know what my friends are doing now. I want to know if they will come save me.”

Sword of Omens: “Me child, I will help you. Who are your friends?”

Lion-O: “The Thundercats.”

Sword of Omens: “Are they boys?”

Lion-O: “Three of them are. One is just a kid, though.”

Sword of Omens: “Ohhhh, I’m getting a readin’, me child. I see two adult Thundercats. Partying with some hot girls.”

Lion-O: “That’s Tygra and Panthro. Oh, I should have known they’d be with the Tree-top Warrior Maidens!”

Sword of Omens: “Ohh, yes, the…uhhh…Warrior Maidens, yes, me child. Yes. That’s where they are now.”

Lion-O: “But, will they come and get me?”

Sword of Omens: “Ohhh, I’m losing my connection. Ohhhh, need $3.00 a minute now, me child. Ohhhhh….”

Lion-O: “Sword of Omens, you suck!”

Sword of Omens: “Call me now. Ohhhh….”



Really, what’s the point of a Sword of Omens if it’s just going to rip you off for your hard earned money and then tell you things you already know? This is a lesson I learned at a young age. Thus, I was never one to fall to crazy schemes like psychics, santarias, and doctors.




So, anyways, the point is that the Thundercats was just as educational as Sesame Street. I learned a lot from those cats. Lessons that I still use today.



And, now, a moment of silence for Lion-O.



He never did get out of that dungeon.




© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.