Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Random Thoughts

Still a Refugee

So, I can’t get back home to Miami. The airports are closed. Also, I’m not quite sure my house is still standing or my car isn’t floating in the Atlantic. Stay tuned, I guess…


You’ll notice that I changed the introduction and that little description about myself. They’re both quotes from the fantabulous book I’m reading- Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire. It seems that I’m the only person in the world who didn’t know that Wicked was a not just a musical, but a book as well. In any case, the book is great so far, you should check it out.

Finding Lost Treasures

Okay, so while I’m hanging out at home in Maryland, I found something that I literally haven’t seen in [insert number: less than 10, but more than 5] years! It’s this stupid “letter” I wrote to myself on my twentieth birthday. It appears that I thought turning 20 was such a milestone, that I actually wrote about all of my “feelings” about turning 20 the night before my birthday. Although at the time I wrote, “[m]ay no one ever read this, but Reese,” I’m going to post the letter here so all of you can laugh at me.

Go ahead, it’s okay.

But first some observations:

1. Boy, was I way dramatic at 19/20. I mean, 20 is not old! What did I think was going to happen? Was I going to die? I mean, really. This was just silly.

2. I didn’t realize that I had an obsession with Karma at such a young age. Interesting.

3. Lot’s of run-on sentences and not enough commas. Commas are our friend. We should use them more often.

4. Funny, how I didn’t realize that I really didn’t turn 20 at midnight on my birthday. I mean, I was born at 1:00 in the afternoon, so really at midnight I still had a few more hours of “19” still left in me.

5. I swear this is the cheesiest crap I have ever written in my entire life. What the hell was I on? If I remember correctly, it was nothing, which makes the whole thing even more sad. I may have to take this down after a day or two. It’s just so god awful. I don’t even know why I’m posting it. Ewww…

Okay, so anyways, enjoy all of my overly-dramatic, Karma obsessed, cheesy self from back in the day. Read it now, while you still can.

And, yes, Dez, this letter is ENTIRELY real. ;)


“July 6, 19__: 11:30pm

Well, it’s about to happen. The inevitable. I’m turning 20!

In just a few minutes I will be officially an adult. The horror!! Ick! I can’t say that I’m really looking forward to this. The truth is, I’m not. It’s not so much that I feel old, it’s (I do, btw) that I feel like I can’t be a kid anymore. Like, everything goes downhill from here. But, what can I do? Just deal with it I suppose. Anyways, I thought at this most historic time period in my life I should document my thoughts. Here are some more:

How weird that I’m spending the very first day of my twentieth year in my cousin’s room? The exact place where she spent her twentieth year. And, here’s the kicker- I’m spending this historic moment in the place, town, county, whatever that I hate most. How’s that for Karma?!? Well, the clock is ticking…I think I’ll call time to see how much I have left.

11:47:40- About 12 minutes to go. I suppose if something this big is gonna happen to me, I’m definitely going to stick around for it. So, with my remaining time, I’d like to quickly go through my life:

Birth: ?

1-3: Still dazed

4-5: Kinda fun

6-10: Southern Maryland years; not that great

11-13: Much better

14-17: High School at Q.O.; pretty cool, for the most part

18: New direction; dazed again

19: I think this was my best year thus far; I hope all my years are like this

And so, here we are. Sunday, July 6. Quiet, dark, solemn. Just a few hours ago, this house was noisy full with people, but now- still. I am sooo tired, but I must see this through. This writing seems so juvenile, but I must do this. I’m glad I’m by myself. I do better alone, I think.

Hmmm…right now, some random thoughts

…mixed emotions…sleepy…tired…waiting…wondering…hoping I get my classes next semester…how much longer??...sleeping to No Doubt tonight…time, time…stomach a bit upset…


I’M 20!!!!!

How do I feel? I don’t know. I’m not happy though. My aunt’s clock is late. Anyways, I suppose that’s all I have to say. I’m going to sleep now.

Peace, Love, and Happiness!!

The rest of the letter just has my name written in various signatures with hearts and stars all over the place. I also list all of my favorites at the time (favorite team, hero, movie, show, soap opera, etc.). ALL of them are no longer my favorites now, which is just typical I guess.

© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.


Blogger KOM said...

That's freaky, Reese. I used to head my journal the exact same way - date written long form and time separated by a colon (I used a 'military' time-stamp, though).

It's not quite as bad as you think. Anyone that has kept anything that they wrote years ago has cringed at what is there.

That's why I blog - so I can laugh harder at myself 10 years from now :)

11:43 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

That is so awesome. I have my old journals from when I turned 18. Psh. When I read stuff from then, I'm like, dude, I was SOOO dramatic! Then, I realize, wait a minute...I am STILL dramatic. I guess some people never change.

I use to do that whole writing to myself on New Years. I had a few years saved up, but lost them in my frequent moving.

LOL, you mentioned me. You felt the need to say this letter was real. This makes me question the authenticity of your letter.


5:32 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

I have been wanting to read wicked as well. About your letter it is not that bad. I have a few of those saved up and like Kom i always find myself bueno lauhing at myself. Ah good times, good times.

7:08 PM  
Blogger Mon said...

That's super cute. Funny how birthdays can go from being something you look forward to, to something you dread.

9:46 PM  
Blogger "Lisa" said...

You people need to stop lying to her. That letter was awful. Feelings?!?! Feelings Reese. For shame. You used to be my hero but not anymore.

FYI: Isn't it funny how we talk about young people being crazy and emotional. And now we find out when you were young you were crazy and emotional. You can never complain about CC again

P.S. This is my first post on my TREO 650 which is SOOOOO DAMNNNN CONFUSING. Why oh why did I buy it.

8:40 AM  
Blogger Robyn said...

I found my diary from the 5th grade when my husband and I were getting ready to move. It was pretty ridiculous. I don't think I actually kept it, it was so embarrassing. Some hobo has it in his coat pocket right about now.

I will never live down the embarrasment of reading to my husband my thoughts on love, and easy bake ovens.

12:02 PM  
Blogger Jessica R. said...

This is CLASSIC!!! loved it. Isn't it great to go back in time in a way - I actually wrote a letter about Tupacs death - I was soo upset about it - I should find that and post it!!! You won't feel so bad afterwards. Oh I also wrote one about waking up from a nightmare about my dog - how much i love and care for him etc etc. I'm not allowed to have dogs so he stayed with my mom.

12:31 PM  
Blogger tannia g. robles said...

wow that's definately a treasure! your able to really look at your whole evolution. only thing i have is pics of how hot I was at that age, but my boobs and young body don't say much about my brains, thoughts or emotions. today, I am all brains...YEAH RIGHT.

11:54 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Thanx, everyone for making feel better about my sad mental state at 19/20. As long as everyone else was in an equally sad mental state when they were young, I don't feel so bad. ;)

8:26 AM  
Blogger Liza said...

Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog!

Your letter at age 20, that's great! It made me giggle because I had similar thoughts when I hit 20. Well, those thoughts were mixed in between a few drinks I'm sure :D

1:05 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

tell me, Reese, has every year to follow as good as 19?

this type of thihng maes me realize how friggin young i am.

i have myself convinced that i'm actually 23/24.

every once and a while i realize i'm 18 and get mad.

not really because i'm trying to grow up too fast or anything, but because no one will take an 18 year-old seriously. meh.

i'm not going to be 20 until 2007. wow.

love you sistah!

9:04 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Wow, Caro. 2007?!? Now, I feel soooo old. ;p~~

Well, I can tell you that no year has eclipsed 19. All I did was hang out and party. The entire year! It was cool. Sometimes I wonder, will I ever have a year like 19 again?

The answer is no. So, you better enjoy your "19" when you get to it. ;)

11:20 AM  

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