Friday, October 14, 2005

Tales from the Childhood: The Contract

Fall, 1988.

Early on, everyone thought that CC was going to be the lawyer in the family. Watch and you’ll see why, as a 10 year old, Reese inquires as to what her 5 year old sister is doing at the kitchen table…

Reese: “CC, you’re too quiet. What are you doing?”

CC: [smiles mischievously]

Reese: “CC, what are you doing!?”

CC: “Oh, nothing…”

Reese: “What are you writing on that piece of paper?”

CC: “This piece of paper is going to make me rich!”

Reese [sighing]: “Explain.”

CC: “It’s a contract.”

Reese: “A contract?"

CC: “Yea.”

Reese: “And, what does this contract say?”

CC: “I’m soooo smart. Okay, listen, this is what it says…”

“I, the Mommy, being of sound boddie do promissse to God that I will give CC $10.00 evrry day as her alowwanse.”

Reese: “Uh-huh.”

CC: “And, then I’m going to get Mommy to sign it. And, then, I’m going to get $10.00 everyday and I’m going to be RICH!!!!”

Reese: “Well, I think you have a couple of problems.”

CC: “Yea?”

Reese: “Yea. First of all, we don’t get an allowance, because we’re poor.”

CC: “Hmmm??”

Reese: “And, secondly, Mommy would never give you $10 everyday, because we’re poor.”

CC: “Those are good points.”

Reese: “So, why don’t you just put that away and go draw or something before you do something that gets me in trouble.”

CC: “No, I don’t think so.”

Reese: “Listen, CC, you’ll never get Mommy to sign that.”

CC: “Yes, I will.”

Reese [sighing]: “Explain.”

CC: “Mommy’s asleep right now, right? Well, you know how she is when she’s asleep? If you wake her up, she’ll do anything you want just to go back to sleep. So, I go in her room, I wake her up and tell her to sign my contract, she signs it, and then, CA-CHING!!”

Reese: “Hmmm??”

CC [singing and doing a little tap dance]: “I’m in the money. I’m in the money. I’ve got a lot of what it takes to get a long.”

Reese: “That’s actually a good idea.”

CC: “Watch and learn from the Master, big sister.”

So, CC does exactly what she said she would do. She goes into her Mom’s room. She wakes her Mom up. And…

CC [yelling]: “MOM, WAKE UP!!!”

Mom [startled]: “Huzzah?? Whatttdoyawant-zzzzzzz…”

CC [still yelling]: “MOM, SIGN THIS!!”

Mom: “Whozza?”

Reese: “Mom, I don’t think you should sign that.”

Mom: “I’msleeppin’-zzzz…”


Mom: “Whazza…hereegimmie…there…signed…go…zzzzzz….”

CC: “YES!!”

Reese: “Well, I’ll be…”

Mom: “Gooo!!! Zzzzzzzz….”

The Next Morning…

Mom: “Good Morning, girls. Ready for school?”

Reese: “Yea.”

CC: “I will be when you give me my money.”

Mom [looking at CC like she’s a strange alien from a strange planet not yet discovered by NASA]: “Little girl, what are you talking about?”

CC: “You owe me $10. Pay up!”

Mom: “Oh, no she didn’t. What? Reese, what is she talking about?”

Reese: “Well…”

CC: “Excuse me, but you agreed to pay me $10 everyday!”


CC: “It’s not funny!”

Mom: “Oh, CC. You know, when you sleep at night, and you have a dream, it’s not real, honey.”

CC: “It wasn’t a dream. I have the contract right here!”

Mom [reading the contract CC just shoved at her]: “I, the Mommy, being of sound boddie do promisssse to…”


CC: “Pay up!”

Reese: “I told you not to sign it.”

Mom: “I signed this?!?!”

Reese: “You were sleeping. CC came into your room, woke you up into a half-sleep and made you sign that contract.”

CC: “You promised, Mom. And, you always said if you promise something you have to do it. So, pay up!!”

Mom: [stunned silence]

Reese: “Oooo, you’re going to get it now, CC.”


Reese: “Me?!?! I’m the good child, remember? Not the devil’s spawn who came up with this idea. PLUS, I told you not to sign it. You didn’t listen to me!!!”

CC: “Pay up!!”

Mom: “Okay, first of all, Reese, no more playing with your friends until you learn how to watch after your sister…”

Reese [yelling]: “WHAT?!?!! HOW IS IT THAT I’M IN TROUBLE FOR THIS?!?!!”

Mom: “And, secondly, CC, this is a good time to explain a little life lesson. And, that lesson is, sometimes we don’t get what we want.”

CC: “ ‘Don’t get what we want’? Forget that! We have a contract! You’re in breach of your contract!”

Mom: “Okay, now that that’s all settled, everyone off to school.”

CC [yelling]: “YOU’RE IN BREACH!! BREACHER!!!”

Reese [yelling]: “HOW AM I IN TROUBLE FOR THIS?!?!”

Mom [sighing]: “What a way to start off a morning.”

© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.


Blogger Jomama said...

Your sister is a sneaky little bugger, but couldn't your mom have just said that she wasn't of sound mind because she was barely conscious?

3:12 PM  
Blogger derek said...

Don't you hate getting punished for the transgressions of younger siblings?

The story of my life...

3:48 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

That's a good point, Jomama, but my Mom wasn't preapred to make a legal argument. In fact, we should all be happy that she took the time to actually do some "raisin" of CC. As you'll see in a future TFTC, CC was not raised properly. ;)

Derek: The story of your life? We must have similar stories, then. I was ALWAYS in trouble because of CC.

4:29 PM  
Blogger KOM said...

From all accounts (well, from the endless complaining of my older sisters), kid siblings are a pain in the butt.

Strangly, I don't remember it that way :)

6:09 PM  
Blogger derek said...

My youngest sister used to get me yelled at for a lot. When I got on her for doing wrong stuff, my mother got on me.


I'm a cancer too, BTW. Just thought I would throw that in...

11:13 AM  
Blogger Caro said...


i want 10$ a day.

5:43 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

ha ha ha us younger siblings can be something else is a good things my sisters don't have a blog, oh the story they could tell.

7:58 PM  
Blogger ByeBye said...

interesting tale from the childhood!

7:08 AM  
Blogger Caro said...

oh reese, what would i do without you and your logic which aligns itself with my own??

lying in a ditch somewhere muttering?

awakening constantly from a drunken stupor?

sitting on street corners, begging for thoughts?
perhaps still.

not an acoustavvy awesome sister?

9:22 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Caro: I'd like to think, without me, the world would stop spinning. ;)

Of course, without me, I'm sure everyone would probably be living in a utopia, but I'd prefer to think that the world needs me.

I'm important, dammit! ;)

10:25 AM  
Blogger Joanne said...

You are reese! And, CC is too funny!

Heard the weather's been beautiful down in your neck of the woods, send some up here would ya?

11:36 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Aww, thanx Joanne. CC only has a vague idea of how much fun we have regarding, umm...her experiences. But, I'll tell her you're getting a kick out of her. ;)

PS: The weather would be okay if a certain hurricane, who shall remain nameless, but whose name is WILMA, wasn't bearing down on us. You're welcome to take her off of our hands, though. Only if you want too. ;)

12:54 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

LOL, is that story true? Your sis is too cute.

1:17 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Actually, this story is 100% true. I was just laughing about it with my mom the other day. So, I decided it would the next Tale and posted it here. :)

1:39 PM  

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