Saturday, June 30, 2007

Reese Gets a New Car: Part 2

Reese on her way to the Toyota Dealership…


Dodge: “You really think they’re going to give you financing?”

Reese: “Shut-up, Dodge! I’m sick of your negativity! That’s why I’m leaving you.”

Dodge: “Look, let’s just stop with all this separation stuff. Let’s…let’s get counseling…”

Reese: “Counseling?”

Dodge: “I know a good mechanic- he’s very understanding. He’ll work with us..”

Reese: “Shut-up, Dodge! We’re already here.”

Dodge [crying]: “Why must you be so cruelllll???”

Reese: “Yeah, you stay here. When I come back, you’ll be all traded in.”


Reese enters Toyota Dealership…


Reese: “Hello. I’m looking for Tony.”

Tony: “Yeah, I’m Tony.”

Reese: “Hey, Tony, I’m Reese. I spoke with you on the phone.”

Tony: “Oh, yeah, yeah. So you ready because when you leave here you gonna have a new car.”

Reese: “Hehehe, yeah, well first things first. I already have financing and I know what kind of car I want. I really like the Scion Xa or even the Toyota Yaris. So, I’m just here to see if Toyota can beat the rate Citi gave me.”

Tony: “Right, well you know don’t worry about that. We’ll work that out. But, why get a Scion Xa or a Yaris when you can get a 2007 Toyota Corolla?”

Reese [sighing]: “Okay…I don’t know how to say this, but…”

Tony: “Yes?”

Reese: “Let’s cut the crap. I don’t want a Toyota Corolla. I’ve done my research, I know how these things go in the dealership- especially with women. You’re not going to convince me to get a more expensive car. You’re just not! So let’s see if you can beat Citi’s financing and get me the car I want on the road now!”


15 Minutes and a Test Drive of the Toyota Corrolla Later…


Tony: “So, the Corolla is nice, huh?

Reese [salty]: “It’s fine.”

Tony: “And it’s a used 2007 so it’s not as expensive as a new car.”

Reese: “Look, no offense, but I don’t want a used car. South Florida dealers are notorious for selling lemons. I want something new that I don’t have to fix. Plus, I want a new car which has 6 airbags…”

Tony: “This car has all the airbags.”

Reese: “Front driver-passenger, front side driver-passenger, and side airbags?”

Tony: “Oh, yeah…yeah.”

Reese: “Let me see the specs of the car.”

Tony: “Specs? Ummm…I’m telling you it has all airbags.”

Reese: “Yeah, right. Well, I’d feel better if I could have the specs.”

Tony: “Right, specs. Okay you wait right here.”


30 Minutes Later…


Tony: “Reese, this is my manager Chuck. He’s going to help us out.”

Reese: “Where are the bloody specs!?!”

Chuck: “Relax, relax. We’ll do this financing, sell you the car, get the specs…”

Reese: “I’m leaving…”

Chuck: “Wait! Wait! Okay, see the problem is…”

Reese: [looks at Chuck with a raised eyebrow]

Chuck: “It’s a used car. We don’t have specs on used cars.”

Reese: “What?”

Chuck: “I mean, we don’t know what the car comes with. We don’t do specs on used cars.”

Reese: “So, let me get this straight…”

Chuck: “Uh-huh…”

Reese: “Someone comes in with a used car?”

Chuck: “Uh-huh…”

Reese: “And you buy that car from the owner?”

Chuck: “Yes, yes…”

Reese: “But, before you buy the car, you don’t take the time to find out what you’re buying?”

Chuck: “Ummm…ermm…”

“Yes?”

Reese: [silent]


10 Minutes Later…Reese Driving Home with Dodge


Dodge: [silent]

Reese: [silent]

Dodge: [silent]

Reese: “… if you say one word…”

Dodge: “I didn’t say anything!”

Reese: “One word!”

Dodge: [silent]

Reese: [silent]

Dodge: [silent]

Reese: “I hate you, Dodge.”

Dodge: “The feeling is mutual super-witch!”



To Be Continued...



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Monday, June 18, 2007

Year of the 30: June

My mom came to visit me and accidentally broke Vicky4. I can’t do any updates until I get her back and we all know how reliable the House of Best Buy is, so she probably won’t be back until the highlight moment of the Year of the 30 (that would be me turning 30 in a couple of weeks).


Sigh.


See you in a few weeks. :(

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