July 7, 2010: The Day the Funny Died

And now, a special report from Something Different News. And here’s our ace reporter, Karma.


Karma: “Good evening, America…and…places that are not America. Tonight, we recognize the talent and laziness that is the owner and creator of Something Different, Reese the Lawgirl.”

“Reese, good evening. It’s good to see you.”


Reese: “Ahh, thanks Karma. It’s…it’s good to be here. Good to be back.”

Karma: “So then, you are back now, Reese?”

Reese: “No, absolutely not.”

Karma: “Mmm-hmmm, interesting. Please explain.”

Reese: “Well, Karma, as you know today is my birthday.”

Karma: “Yes, a glorious day indeed.”

Reese: “Yes, yes, well, I am 33 years old Karma…”

Karma: “33?”

Reese: “Yes.”

Karma: “Really?”

Reese: “Yes. Uhh…you should know this. I mean, you are Karma.”

Karma: “Well, I just thought, you know…see a little crows feet there…thought maybe you were a bit older...”

Reese: “Ohhh, hahahaha…I hate you, Karma.”

Karma: “Oh, I’m just kidding with you girl. You don’t look a day over 33.”

Reese: “Ha! I really hate you.”

Karma: “Alright, alright. As you were saying...”

Reese: “Yes, well, I’m getting older…”

Karma: “Mmmm-hmmm, we can see that…”

Reese [interrupts]: “ANNNDDD, I feel as if things have changed for me. I started this blog when I was 28. At the time, I had so many dreams. I was unemployed and over educated. The world was my clam…”

Karma: “Ummm…”

Reese: “And I could do anything with that clam. And I did. I wrote blogs about stupid celebrities, and bad relationships, and poor working girls, and tales from the childhood, and hot boy fantasies. But, the thing is, you grow up. And you change. And you’ve written everything you wanted to write about until you just don’t have anything left. And, when that happens, well, it’s time to move on.”

Karma: “Hmmm…”

Reese: “Yes, I know. It’s all very deep…”

Karma: “Not really…”

Reese [ignoring Karma]: “What can I say? I’m a very thought provoking individual. And, I think now it’s really time to bid adieu. I really have nothing more to say.”

“Yes, I think that today, July 7, 2010, is a fitting end to Something Different.”

Karma: “Reese…”

Reese: “Yes?”

Karma: “Cut the crap.”

Reese: “Whaaaaaaatttt??”

Karma: “You are not out of ideas. You are not too old to keep writing. The truth is, number 1, you are lazy…”

Reese: “Ehhhh….”

Karma: “And, number 2, you let the state of Florida suck all of the life out of you. I mean, really? You’re going to allow Florida to destroy you, really? Florida? FLORIDA?!?”

Reese: “But, but, but…”

Karma: “Yes, there’s a ton of sunshine. And, sure the people here don’t understand sarcasm. And, yeah, yeah, it’s no fun making fun of simple people instead of pretentious wannabe power players. But, you can’t let that stop you!”

“You need to reclaim your funny!”


Reese: “How…how do I do that?”


Karma: “Well, first, how about you actually commit to finishing that Poor Working Girl story?”

Reese: “Yes…commit…”

Karma: “That’s right. Commit to the story. Make a writing schedule. Promise to write something substantive at least once a week.”

Reese: “Yes! Schedule! Weekly writing!”

Karma: “You can do this, Reese! I’m rooting for you. We’re all rooting for you!!”

Reese: “I…I CAN DO THIS!!”

Karma: “Now go!! Go be that awesome Lawgirl we’ve come to love!”

Reese: “YES!! BE AWESOME!!”

Karma: “BE AWESOME!!”

Reese: “AWESOME!!”

Karma: “AWESOME!!!!”


[silence]


[silence]


[silence]


Reese: “Can…can I start being awesome tomorrow because I’m kind of hungry, right now…”

Karma: [silence]

Reese: “Actually, maybe I can start next week because this week I’m going on vacation…”

Karma: “Hrrumpphh…”

Reese: “Well, this summer is actually really busy. I’m saying though, in September I will totally be ready to be awesome…”

Karma: “You know what, Reese? Just forget it. How about that? Forget it.”

Reese: “Hey, now don’t be like that Karma…”

Karma [takes off her mic]: “No, no. I’m so done with you…I’m leaving…”

Reese: “Ahh, Karma, come on! I’m not saying I’m never going to be awesome. Just, you know, later…”

[Karma walks away]

Reese [yells at Karma]: “I MEAN SOONER RATHER THAN LATER….”

[Karma has left the building]

Reese: “Geesh, so emotional. What’s her deal?”


[silence]


[silence]


[silence]



Reese: “Well, goodnight folks! Have a pleasant today and a happy tomorrow!”




The End

?????

© Copyright 2010. All Rights Reserved.

Excuses, Excuses

I know, I know "Where's part 2 of the Jem story? Where is it?!? Give it to us now!!"

Okay, but I went to Sarasota and I injured myself and I had to recover. And then I caught the lazy and then I got tired.

But, it's coming.

Like at least by Wednesday.

Seriously, I just finished writing it.

See, here's a piece...

The Misfits.

Their name strikes fear in the hearts of pop culture fame whores everywhere.

They were the rival group to Jem and the Holograms. They claimed their songs were better and that they were going to get her…her being, Jem.

The Misfits tried unsuccessfully to kill Jem on several occasions. And while they killed many innocent bystanders in their attempts to eliminate Jem, they were never successful of even putting a tiny scratch on Jem’s head.

We talked to two of the Misfits at Saint Mary’s Convent for Reformed Killers in Volterra, Italy…

[To Be Continued...]



And, that's all you get. Not to toot my own horn, but I think part 2 has exactly three laughs in it. Three whole laughs!



Yeah, I'm that good.



Alright, be on the lookout. It's coming this week (so is the 2009 Song of the Year post...who do you think should win? Seriously, who do you think because I haven't made up my mind yet?).



© Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.

Behind the Music: Jem and the Holograms [Part 1]

Jem and the Holograms were excitement and adventure…

Jem: “It’s showtime, Synergy!”

Glamour and glitter. Fashion and fame…

Shana: “Oh my, gosh! I can’t believe the President is going to honor us for saving America AND we get brand new couture outfits from Karl Lagerfeld!”






But, behind the music, not everything was contagious and outrageous...





Aja: “…well what mental illness didn’t she have?”

Kimber: “…schizophrenia…multiple personality disorder…”

Rio: “…people don’t know, that was a scary time…”

Pizzazz: “…if I had known the mafia was involved, I would have thought twice…”

Roxy: “Well, who the hell is Raya?!?”

Shana: “…and then Synergy turned out to be a Cylon and we were like, ‘Whaaatt?!?’”



This is the true story of two sisters, two orphans, three mortal enemies, one stupid boyfriend, one psychotic entertainment lawyer, and a host of other people added in the third season that totally confused the viewers.



This is Behind the Music: Jem and the Holograms




Our story starts in 1985. Then, sisters Jerrica and Kimber Benton and their adopted sisters, Aja Leith and Shana Elmsford, were reeling from the sudden loss of Jerrica and Kimber’s father, Emmett Benton.



Grieving and totally broke, the young girls did not know then what the future held for them…




Aja: “I thought we were going to have to start working the streets!”

Kimber: “Well, sure, Dad owned a music company and Starlight House. When he died, he left Jerrica with 50% of Starlight Music. The only thing was…”

Shana: “…the only thing was that Starlight Music didn’t have any musical acts! Before Jem and Holograms and the Misfits, there were no artists at Starlight! I mean, really! How can you own a music company that has no musical acts? What is that?!?”

Aja [clearly disgusted]: “And, any money “Daddy Benton” had…”

Shana [rolls eyes]: “Ha! “Daddy” Benton…”

Aja: “…went to his oh, so precious Synergy…”

Kimber [choked up]: “...or you know, to his…his…”

Aja: “It’s okay Kimber, people need to know the truth.”

Kimber [crying]: “…the money…much of it went to Daddy’s...”

“…habit…”


Shana: “White linesssss…”

Aja: “People are always so shocked by this revelation, but honestly. How else does a 40 year old man die in the 80’s?”




Devastated, confused, mystified, and contemplating prostitution, Jerrica was forced to turn to the only person she knew who could help the girls get back on their feet…



General Eric Raymond.


Eric Raymond, now an army general and warden at Guantanamo Bay, was an enterprising young attorney and music mogul in the mid 80’s.





Eric: “Yeah, Jerrica came to me looking for help and I gave her none!”

“My philosophy to the music business back then is what it is today: kill or be killed.”

“Now, some people will think that’s an extreme position to take, but I say those people are just a bunch of bleeding heart liberals who don’t know how to operate in a dangerous world!”


Random Guantanmo Prisoner [extremely frightened]: “Here…here’s y-y-your w-w-water, siirrrr…”

Eric: “What did you call me? Did you just call me, ‘sir,’”

Random Guantanamo Prisoner [scared to death]: “G-g-general! I mean, General!”

Eric: “Lieutenant! Take this peon to the home theater!”

Random Guantanamo Prisoner [kicking and screaming]: “NOOO!!! NOT THE HOME THEATER!!! PLEASE GENERAL, NOT THE HOME THEATER!!! I CAN’T TAKE ANYMORE JEM AND MISFITS MUSIC VIDEOS!! I CAN’T TAKE IT!! I CAN’T TAKE ANOTHER JEM COMA!!!!!”

Eric: “Get him out of here!”


[VH1 camera crew looks on in stunned silence]


Eric [straightening his uniform]: “Yes, that’s right. We torture the prisoners with music from the Holograms and the Misfits. I mean, have you ever actually listened to their music? Their song composition of choice was two bridges and 15 choruses!”

“Seriously, it was bridge-chorus-bridge-chorus...and then, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus, chorus! How else do you get to say the words “truly outrageous” one thousand times in a song?!?”




With Eric Raymond being of no help to Jerrica, the young ingénue, with the tacky pink eye-shadow, took it upon herself to create a new pop-rock band which would be fronted by a newly discovered, young ingénue with tacky pink eye-shadow. No one knew where Jerrica found this completely random and unknown singer...

All anyone knew was that this new standout wore tacky pink eye-shadow and looked exactly like Jerrica Benton...







Jem was a mystery...???...???...???























Jem: “Ahem, excuse me, but I’m Jerrica.”




Twenty-five years later, we catch up with Jem- a patient at St. Elizabeth’s Mental Hospital in Washington, D.C.




Jem [voice raspy from years of smoking and crazy people screaming]: “Oh, those were [cough, hack, cough]…those were the days.”

VH1 Interviewer: “So, are you saying that you are Jerrica Benton, Jem?”

Jem: [stares into space with the crazy eyes]

VH1 Interviewer: “Jem?”

Jem: “I’M JERRICA!!!!”



Unable to get a straight answer out of Jem, we talked with the Holograms to get confirmation on this stunning new development.



VH1: “So, is it true? Is Jem actually Jerrica Benton?”

Aja [sighing]: “Yes, it’s true. Jem and Jerrica are one in the same.”

VH1: “Amazing! How did this come about?”

Aja: “Well, Jerrica, she’s crazy.”

VH1: “Mmmm-hmmmm…”

Aja: [silence]

VH1: “What else can you tell us?”

Aja: “That’s about it. Jerrica’s crazy…that’s…that’s it.”



With the sudden death of her father and the weight of all of Starlight House, Jerrica’s father’s orphanage for hot teenagers, on her shoulders, Jerrica Benton’s mind fractured under the pressure. Jerrica created a new persona; and that persona was Jem - a pink haired, chorus singing dynamo!

Needless to say, Jerrica’s sudden multiple personality disorder was not appreciated by all of the Holograms…



Shana: “Look, the way I felt was like, we all have problems, you know? Jerrica’s problems were no worse than mine. I mean, have you seen me?”






“I’m a literally a white girl painted black! Now that’s an identity crises!”



Kimber: “I had problems too! How would you like to write all of the choruses while someone else got all of the chorus glory? Everything was always Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!”

VH1: [silence]

Kimber: “I mean, Jan, Jan, Jan!”

VH1: “Nope, try again.”

Kimber: “I mean, Jem, Jem, Jem!”

VH1: “There you go.”


In need of help to deal with their various identity crises, the girls sought help from a likely source: their best friend, and sentient computer program, Synergy.


Today, Synergy is the chief executive officer of Cycle Basic Encoding Rules Dyna-analysis also referred to as Cyberdyne. Cyberdyne currently works with the U.S. military to improve the lives of all Americans!













Synergy [pointing a gun at the Interviewer’s head]: “Good human, now say “Cyberdyne is a name all humans should trust...and obey.”



Cyberdyne is a name all humans should trust and obey.



Synergy: “Good, now say…”


VH1 [interrupting]: “OH MY GOD SHE’LL KILL US ALL!! EVERYONE RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!”


[VH1 crew scatters!]


Synergy [sighing]: “Never trust a human to do a robot’s job!”


“Where’s Arnold? Will someone go get Arnold for me?!?”



When we come back, from hiding, and with Linda Hamilton to protect us, we’ll talk to Rio Panchenco- the purple haired heart throb who originated either from Italy or Brazil, depending on who you ask, and who was romantically involved with Jerrica Benton and Jem!


Rio: “Sure my philandering ways weren’t good for Jerrica’s mental health, but have you ever been with a girl who thinks she’s two people? Dude, it’s totally awesome!”



And, we’ll finally answer that age old question: were the Misfits really better or were they just homicidal maniacs?




Pizzazz: “Hey! If you had to deal with the three faces of Eve everyday you’d probably try to drive her and her Rockin’ Roadster off the side of a cliff too!”




Tune in later for part two of Behind the Music: Jem and the Holograms



Also, if someone could find John Conner for us, we would really appreciate it.



Or even Neo…Neo would be good…



Please help! We want to live!

All text is © Copyright 2009. All rights reserved.

Missing in Action

I haven't been around in months. I haven't written anything since my birthday. The only reason why I'm writing this post right now is because I can't take looking at that depressing MJ post sitting front and center on the front page.

This weekend, I'm trying to get back to my roots. I'm trying to reclaim the wit and sarcasm South Florida's bright sunny-sun-sun has stolen from me.

So, here's the introduction to what I hope will turn out to be something mildly entertaining.

I'm still working on it (it's several pages long already), hopefully I'll have something up by Sunday or Monday. We'll see.

Until then...I hope this puts a little bit of a smirk on your face.


---------------------------

Jem and the Holograms were excitement and adventure…

Jem: “It’s showtime, Synergy!”

Glamour and glitter. Fashion and fame…

Shana: “Oh my, gosh! I can’t believe the President is going to honor us for saving America AND we get brand new couture outfits from Karl Lagerfeld!”

But, behind the music, not everything was contagious and outrageous…

Aja: “…well what mental illness didn’t she have?”

Kimber: “…schizophrenia…multiple personality disorder…”

Rio: “…people don’t know, that was a scary time…”

Pizzazz: “…if I had known the mafia was involved, I would have thought twice…”

Roxy: “Well, who the hell is Raya?!?”

Shana: “…and then Synergy turned out to be a Cylon and we were like, ‘Whaaatt?!?’”

This is the true story of two sisters, two orphans, three mortal enemies, one stupid boyfriend, one psychotic entertainment lawyer, and a host of other people added in the third season that totally confused the viewers.

This is...

Behind the Music: Jem and the Holograms

(c) Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

A Solemn Day

Today is my birthday.

I got a Coach bag from my friend Egypt. My Judge took me out to lunch. My friends called to tell me I was old.

And then I watched the Greatest Artist of All Time, Michael Jackson, be put to rest.

Sigh. Everyone always dies or has a funeral on freakin' July 7th.

But, that's okay. Life and death...It's just human nature.




R.I.P. MJ

Human Nature

Disclaimer: This is a tribute post. If you are a Negative Betty, please leave. No Negative Betty's! Thank you.



So, I guess Michael Jackson is the only person who could get me out of my three month writer’s block. Amazing.


I am a MJ fan. I always have been and I always will be. I never believed any of the allegations hurled against him. In fact, I always felt so badly for Mike because I believed that he was stuck in emotional development hell. He only ever had about five years of normalcy before being thrust into the sweat shop that was the Jackson 5. He spent his whole life in front of the world and no one cared enough about him as a person to guide him into becoming a fully functioning adult.


I genuinely felt pity for the man. And, I honestly felt like the scorn he received was like kicking a disabled person who was already lying helpless on the ground. Just not my scene and not how I operate.


So, yeah, when MJ died I thought to myself, “Self! You gotta write something! This huge! This is MJ! The only artist on your list of Artists You Must See Live, that you never got to see live…so write something!”


And, then, like everything else that’s worth writing about on this blog, nothing was written. Nothing flowed from my brain to my fingers to Vicky5 (or is it Vicky4…I’ve lost count of my Vicky’s). Literally, I went to write an MJ tribute and my brain farted loudly (which, by the way, is not pleasant at all) and made me go listen to “Human Nature” on my Creative Zen instead.


So, here it is, four days after Michael died. All his tributes have been written, and I got nothing on my blog, but an open letter to my ex-boyfriend. It’s like, really, what happened to my talent? Why can’t I write anything, anymore?


And then, this morning, on my way to pick up breakfast at the Sky Grille in my office, a random thought popped into my head:


“Huh…the first week without any MJ ever again. Music sure is going to suck forever now.”


Now, sure that seems like a totally innocuous statement. But, when I thought about all the other things I said and emotions I felt over the last few days, I realized that I had completed my Kubler-Ross-MJ Stages of Grief. What’s more is that I could even write about my Kubler-Ross-MJ Stages of Grief on my blog (now with more cynicism, sarcasm, and self-deprecation). Finally, I have something I can write about!


So I present to you (the negative 2 of you who still read this blog), Reese’s Kubler-Ross-MJ Stages of Grief.


Denial


Thursday, June 25, 2009. 7:30pm


Reese: “Yawn! That was a good nap. Time for So You Think You Can Dance!”

“What’s this? 18 messages! Geesh, who died? [Reese states this with sarcasm that today she feels total and complete guilt for]”


TEXT Message from Egypt: “OMG, rumor that Michael Jackson had a heart attk!”

Reese [more cynicism]: “Yeah, right…”


TEXT Message from Egypt: “OMG, rumor that Michael Jackson in a coma!!”

Reese: “Whatever!”


TEXT Message from Egypt: “OMG! Rumor that Michael Jackson just died!!!
Jdksaljdsfkldsjdljdskljdsljdsl!!!111!!!!11111One!”

Reese: “Egypt is so gullible.”


TEXT Message from Egypt: “They just announced he’s dead…Channel 4 news.”

Reese: [silent]



TEXT Message from Egypt: “MJ Special on abc 2nite @ 9”

Reese [small voice]: …no way…





Anger


TEXT Message from Egypt (she sent this message twice): “MJ Special on abc 2nite @ 9”


Reese: …………



“SON OF A BITCH!!!!”





Bargaining (exactly 1 second after anger)



Reese: “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!! DEAR LORD CAN’T YOU TAKE JOE JACKSON INSTEAD?!?!?”

“SERIOUSLY, I’LL GO GET HIM FOR YOU!!! IF YOU WANT ME TOO, I TOTALLY WILL!!!! SHOOT, I’LL TAKE OUT JANET! I’M STILL MAD AT THAT TRICK FOR CANCELLING HER TOUR DATE IN FT. LAUDERDALE!!”




Numbness


Reese [calls Toya]: “Toya…”

Toya [sniffling (she’s already at the “Depression” stage)]: “…yeah [sniff, sniff]”

Reese: “Toya…MJ is…dead…”

Toya: “Yeah, I know, I know…I called you…[sniff, sniff]”

Reese: “I was…taking a nap…”

Toya: “I’ve been crying since I heard.”

Reese: “Oh, man…this…how…this…”

Toya: “I know…[sniff, sniff]”

Reese: “You’re crying, but…I don’t feel anything…”

Toya: “It’ll hit you eventually [sniff, sniff]”

Reese: “No…I don’t know…maybe…”





Depression


CBS MJ Special


Ed Bradley: “Michael, is there anything that you would tell your fans, for those fans who have questions?”

Michael Jackson: “I would tell them, if they want to know me more to listen to the most autobiographical song I ever wrote…and that’s a song called “Childhood.”

[“Childhood” starts playing]

[“Before you judge me…Try hard to love me…”]


Michael Jackson: “And I would tell them that I love them very much. And that I never take any of their love for granted. Never.”

[“The painful youth, I’ve haaadddd…”]



Reese: …..


“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!”


[Ugh, yes, tears and that weird sorta hyperventilating thing you do when you’re really upset…yeah…I’m lame]




Depression


Sit tight folks, we’re going to be here all weekend. Yeah!



Friday, June 26, 2009.


Reese: “Oh…I’m too devastated to function.”

[Reese spends a whole day not functioning due to devastation]




Saturday, June 27, 2009.

8am

Reese: “….”




10am

Reese: “…meh…”



Noon

Reese: “…gjkdlsdksldjskfdlsls…”



2pm

Reese: “…brain…attempting…to…conjure…thought…”



2:01pm

Reese: “OW!”

“Ohhhh, my brain hurts…”




2:02pm

Reese: “Advil, Advil, Advil, Advil, Advil…”



2:30pm

Reese: “Sigh.”




2:31pm

Reese: “…meh…”



4:00pm

Reese: “Well…I guess I should do something…where’s the ice cream?”




Anger


4:01pm

Reese: “THERE’S NO ICE CREAM?!?!?!





Bargaining


4:02pm

Reese: “Dear, Lord. I’ll give you Joe Jackson and RAISE you 5 bucks if you give back MJ and make some Ben & Jerry’s instantly appear here.”


God: [silent]


Reese: “Really?”




Depression

4:03pm


Reese [crying]: “THERE’S NO ICE CREAM!!!!”




Regret


Sunday, June 28, 2009

11am


Reese: “Awww…No Doubt, check. Alanis Morissette, check. Teena Marie, check. Janet Jackson, check. But, I never got to check off MJ. I never got to see him live in concert.”

Maria [laughing]: “Oh, girl…like you would have ever gotten tickets to an MJ show.”





Anger


11:01am

Reese: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WOULD HAVE NEVER GOTTEN TICKETS?!? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!? I AM THE TICKETMASTER!! I GET TICKETS TO EVERYTHING!!!”

Maria: “Okay, okay, calm down…”

Reese: “NO YOU CALM DOWN!! DON’T INSULT MY TICKETMASTERY SKILLS!! THEY ARE SUPERB!!! WHO ELSE DO YOU KNOW GETS TICKETS TO THREE OLYMPICS AND FRONT-ROW SEATS TO NO DOUBT, JANET JACKSON, AND TEENA MARIE, HMMMMM??”

Maria: “Umm…no one…”

Reese: “THAT’S RIGHT!! PFSSHHH!! TELL ME I CAN’T GET MJ TICKETS…I CAN GET MJ TICKETS…”

Maria: [silent]

Reese [muttering under her breath]: “…can’t get MJ tickets…ME…seriously!...unbelievable…”

Maria: “Are you done now?”

Reese: “…yeah, I guess, so…”




11:10pm


Maria: “Seriously, what’s with all the anger?”

Reese: “I don’t know.”



Acceptance


8:00am

Reese: “Huh…the first week without any MJ ever again. Music sure is going to suck forever now.”


“Sigh. I guess I better get used to chart topping hits by such greats as Soldier Boy Tell ‘Em. Gah!”




Bargaining


8:01am

Reese: “Dear Lord, I’ll give you Soldier Boy Tell ‘Em in exchange for Mike. Please?!?”


God: [silent]


Reese: “Really?”


God: [silent]


Reese: “Sigh. Dang, that’s messed up. Really is gone for good, huh?”

God: [gives Reese a sympathetic nod]

Reese: “Dang.”







© Copyright 2009. All Rights Reserved.

Songs of 2008

It's time for Song of the Year.



I can't believe I've done this consistently for the last four years!




God, I feel old.




Whatever! Okay, let's get down to business...




Song of the Year...blah, blah, blah...other songs on the list unranked...blah, blah, blah...who will Mute Math's "Typical" pass the crown to this year...blah, blah, blah...



If you know anything about me and who my favorite artist is and also know that said favorite artist had an album that came out this year, then you really shouldn't be surprised....





SONG OF THE YEAR............






DRUM ROLL PLEASE...................








......WAITING FOR THE DRUM ROLL.........






I CAN STAND HERE ALL DAY!





ALRIGHT, THAT'S BETTER..........






.....SONG OF THE YEAR...

"Citizen of the Planet" by Alanis Morissette

Yeah, Alanis!!!! I was really feeling this song with me going to China for the Olympics and all. It was my 2008 theme song. And, also, it's Alanis and you guys know I think she can do no wrong.

Incidentally, Alanis also has won my coveted CD of the Year award for Flavors of Entanglement.

That's two years in a row that a rock artist has won Song of the Year and CD of the Year (Mute Math won both awards last year). Hip-hop artists really need to step it up. You're starting to lose me.


Anyways, here's the rest of the best (long list this year). Go make an awesome playlist for your new Blackberry Storm. ;)


--------------------------------


"4 Minutes" Madonna f/t Justin Timberlake

"20/20" Alanis Morissette

"American Boy" Estelle f/t Kanye West

"A Milli" Lil' Wayne

"Beggin' (Palooski Radio Edit)" Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons

"Cry for You" September

"Damaged" Danity Kane

"Disturbia" Rihanna

"Feedback" Janet

"Free" Marcus Miller f/t Corinne Bailey Rae, David Sanborn, Gregoi

"Giggling Again for No Reason" Alanis Morissette

"Girls Around the World" Lloyd f/t Lil' Wayne

"Green Light" John Legend f/t Andre 3000

"I Decided" Solange

"If I Never See Your Face Again [remix]" Maroon 5 f/t Rihanna

"I'm That Chick" Mariah Carey

"Just Dance" Lady Gaga f/t Colby O'Donis

"Let it Slide" Joanna (officially released in 2006, but I just discovered it this year...good looking out on the advertising front Geffen Records)

"Lights Out" Danity Kane

"Magic" Robin Thicke

"Never Would Have Made It" Marvin Sapp

"No Air" Jordin Sparks f/t Chris Brown

"On the Tequilla" Alanis Morissette

"Orchid" Alanis Morissette

"Paper Planes" M.I.A.

"Pretend" Cheri Dennis

"Pretty Boy" Danity Kane

"Rock wit U" Janet

"Shawty Get Loose" Lil' Mama f/t Chris Brown

"Shone" Ballgreazy

"So Much Betta" Janet

"So What" Pink

"Spotlight" Jennifer Hudson

"Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It)" Beyonce

"Take a Bow" Rihanna

"Tapes" Alanis Morissette

"That's What You Get" Paramore

"Untouched" The Veronicas

"Viva La Vida" Coldplay (pending verification that Coldplay did not steal this song)