Monday, June 26, 2006

Life is So Hard When You're an Attorney: Reason #1

This week, I'm running a special series on why life is so hard for us attorneys.

Yes, this week you will get an in-depth look on what it's like to be an attorney. And you will see it's not all it's cracked up to be. Sure there's the glitz and the glamour (oh, there's so much glamour!). But, when you take away all the glitter, what's left?

As you'll see, not much.

So, to start off, today you will see how being an attorney can mess with your everyday life. Yes, even getting quality medical care is difficult for an attorney. Thus, I bring you Life is So Hard When You’re an Attorney: Reason #1- You Can't Have a Normal Conversation with a Doctor.

Dr. Podiatrist [treats Reese's broken foot]: “So, Reese, what do you do for a living?”

Reese: “Eh?”

Dr. Podiatrist: “For a living? What do you do?”

Reese: “Meh…”

Dr. Podiatrist: “You know that activity where you go to work and earn a paycheck? What is the activity that you do?”

Reese: “Uhhh…well…”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Uh-huh?”

Reese: “I’m unemployed.”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Liar.”

Reese: “What?!? Are you saying that I’m a liar?”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Yes.”

Reese: “But, I am unemployed.”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Reese, I know you’re not unemployed because you can afford to see me on a weekly basis. So, what do you do?”

Reese: “I’m a drug dealer.”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Really? How’s the market for crack this year?”

Reese: “You know it’s alright.”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Really, what do you do?”

Reese: “Doctor when I can take this boot off?”

Dr. Podiatrist: “You can’t ignore my question with another question.”

Reese: “No time soon, huh?”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Reese, you know if I suspect illegal activity I have to report you to the police…”


Dr. Podiatrist: [silent and stepping away from Reese]

Reese [sighing]: “Don’t worry; I’m not going to sue you.”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Heh-heh…heh…I wasn’t worried…”

Reese: “Yeah, sure…”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Sooo…”

Reese: “Yeah…”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Sooo…”

Reese: “Yeah…”

Dr. Podiatrist: “…”

Reese: [rolls eyes]

Dr. Podiatrist: “…”


Dr. Podiatrist: “OH THANK GOD!!!”

Reese: “Good grief! Just once I would appreciate it if a doctor did not have a hissy fit when I told him or her that I am an attorney. Attorneys need health care too!!”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Well, that’s true. But, I guess I always assumed that attorneys are just the walking dead and don’t need any medical care.”

Reese: “…”

Dr. Podiatrist: [smiling]

Reese: “That’s a horrible joke, Dr. P.”

Dr. Podiatrist [laughing]: “Awww, c’mon! That was funny!”

Reese: “It was not funny!”

Dr. Podiatrist: “Hehehhee, “walking dead.” I have to write that one down.”

Reese [under her breath]: “Keep it up and I’ll sue your…”

Dr. Podiatrist: “WHAT?!?! WHAT?!?!”

Reese: “Nothing, nothing. Now, about my foot…”

© Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved.


Blogger Brother Kojak said...

It could be worse. you can be a computer tech. and have people always ask you what's wrong with their computer.

2:57 PM  
Blogger Amadeo said...

Try social work...mental drain...then I'm the only guy so guess who get's to lift and carry...physical drain...then I look at my paycheck...It's like I'm being bleed slowly by a vampire.

6:18 PM  
Blogger derek said...


Being a computer tech is on my short list of "Things I could spend 40-50 hours/week doing for pay". Web development...that's another story.


(puts aluminum foil in mouth to simulate metal dental work and jumps around stupidly...)

You know is it's hard out here for

Dealing with math is no fun. When you tell a woman that, you may as well tell her you shovel dung for a living...

7:25 AM  
Blogger Jessica R. said...

hahaha -reese - sometimes i find myself questioning if these conversations really took place like that? They are too good!!

I can see where you're coming from though - Attorneys definitely don't have a good rep!!!

12:40 PM  
Blogger This Girl I Used to Know said...

I work for the cable company, so oftentimes, I am the most hated person in the room (don't ask me why I get the blame for the cable bill... I don't even work in that department).

In my MBA program, though... on the first day of class, a classmate introduced himself and said he worked for one of the large tobacco companies around here.

I was like, YES! Someone works at a more evil company than I do! Woo Hoo!

3:10 PM  

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