Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Five-O

I went home to Southern Maryland this weekend.

I had some interesting conversations with and/or about my little cousins.

This is the conversation I had with my 9 ½ year old cousin, Dante…

CC: “…and that’s why Marla shouldn’t be driving. She doesn’t even have a learner’s permit yet!”

Brian: “Yeah, well, we all know Aunt Lara lets those girls do anything.”

Dante: “I can drive!”

Reese [ignoring Dante]: “Yeah, those girls are a bit wild…”

Dante: “I can drive!!”

CC: “Dante, be quiet! This is a grown cousins’ discussion!”

Dante: “But, I can drive!!”

Reese [rolls eyes]: “Sure you can, Dante…”

Dante: “But, I can drive! Stevie let’s me drive the commuter bus.”

Brian: “Stop lying, Dante.”

Dante: “But, I’m not lying. He did let me drive the commuter bus!”

Brian: “What?”

Reese: “Wait, who is Stevie?”

Brian: “Dante’s mom’s boyfriend. He drives the town commuter bus.”

CC [to Dante]: “And, he let you drive the little commuter bus?”

Dante: “Yeah! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I can drive! I drove the bus.”

Reese: “Oh, you mean like you pretended to drive the bus?”

CC: “Or Stevie let you turn the steering wheel, but he really was driving the bus?”

Dante: “No, I drove the bus!!”

Reese: “Wait, wait, wait…you mean you drove the bus? Like, you had your feet on the pedals and you operated the steering wheel?”

Dante: “Yes! I drove the bus!! Stevie was in front of me driving my mom’s car.”

Brian: “Jesus…”

CC: “Holy Crap!”

Dante: “It was sooo cool!!!”

Reese: “I can’t believe…that is absolutely ridiculous!”

Dante: “See? I can drive too. Don’t nobody need a license to drive.”

Reese: “Yes, they do! They do need a license! And no 9 year old…”

Dante: “Nine and a half…”

Reese: “Look, I don’t care if you’re nine and three quarters! No 9 year old should be driving ANY motorized vehicle!”

Dante: “Man, ya’ll don’t know. You’re just old!”

Reese: “Lookie here, Dante! The next time I find out you’re driving, I’m going to call the police. And they are going to make sure that you don’t drive until you’re 35!”


Reese: “What?”

CC: “HA!”

Brian: “That’s just sad…”

Dante: “Yeah, I said it. Don’t nobody care about the five-o!!”

Reese: “Look little country boy, I know you are not perpetrating like you’re some little street thug…”

Dante: “I’m hardcore!”

Reese: “You are not hardcore! You’re a little country boy who drives short buses!”

CC: “And you better never drive again, you hear!!!”

Dante: “Man, whatever…”

Brian: “Wow… “don’t nobody care about the five-o.” That’s…amazing…”

Reese: “Absolutely ridiculous!”

CC: “This is going in the blog, isn’t it Reese?”

Reese: “I mean, it just wrote itself…”

© Copyright 2006. All Rights Reserved.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know that old show... "Kids Say the Dardnest Things"?

I would have LOVED to have seen an old episode of that with a 9 year old coming out with "Don’t nobody care about the five-o" Hi-Larious!

11:03 AM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

"You’re a little country boy who drives short buses!”

Yeah, if he was hardcore he'da popped a cap in your ass for that......which I am totally swiping as my new insult to yell at bad drivers.

9:18 AM  
Blogger derek said...

man, J.O.A.T (aka jerk of all trades) beat me to it...

Reese: “You are not hardcore! You’re a little country boy who drives short buses!”

This is why I love Reese...

She's like Frangela but one woman :-).

10:14 AM  
Blogger Juicy77 said...

Save the children!

2:18 AM  

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