Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Losing It

You know how I’ve been saying that I’m losing my mind? Well, it’s true. I am. And it’s all because of this crazy job situation I’ve been in. I can’t make up my mind about what I want and/or what I don’t want. I think I’m descending into madness; and, it’s really scaring me.

June 2005

So, in June I quit my job. I really had to. If I didn’t, I’m quite sure I would have been fired. Not because I did anything wrong, but because my supervisor was insane (I think I caught the crazy I have now from her).

Boss Lady: “Reese, the Congress is having hearings on steroids. They want to know how many of our grantees are working on steroids prevention and if the language of the statute even addresses steroid abuse. Oh, and they want the information by tomorrow. Get crackin!”

Reese: “This is stupid!!! We have 1000’s of grantees!! How am I supposed to find out this information by tomorrow? I’m just an attorney. Ask one of the project officers or something. Who the hell cares about steroids anyways?!?!”

Okay, wait, I wish I had actually said that. But, my punk behind didn’t actually say that. What I actually said was…

Reese: “That’s a tall order as we have 1000’s of grantees. I’ll definitely look into the law and see what I can find out from the project officers about which grantees are working on steroids.”

So, after doing all of that work and finding out that no one cares about steroids, I went and told my boss of findings…

Reese: “No one cares about steroids.”

Boss Lady: “What are you talking about?”

Reese: “Uhhh, you asked me to find out which grantees were working on steroid abuse and the legal status of steroid prevention and I basically found nothing.”

Boss Lady: “You mean you wasted your time doing something like that?!?!”

Reese: “You told me the Congress asked for…”

Boss Lady: “I can’t believe you’ve been wasting your time on some sort of whimsical quest! We have work to do!!!”

Reese: “But, you said…”

Boss Lady: “We need to train the project officers on the statutory provisions of the grant. That’s what you should be working on. Understand?!?!”

Reese: “No, not really. But, whatever.”

Boss Lady: “You young people. Always trying to skip out on the hard work!”

Of course, by the end of the day, she was at my desk again asking me where my findings were for Congress. And, I was yet again dumbfounded.

So, I quit. It was either her or me. I didn’t want to lose my bar license, so I thought it was best that I move on.

July 2005

So, during the month of July I started applying for jobs at a maddening pace. Is this what made me crazy? Who knows? But, it got to the point that I didn’t even remember what jobs I had applied for and where those jobs were. Also, because I was unemployed, I was basically chilling at home. The days were beginning to run together and I think I started to lose myself in what had seemed to be an endless summer…

[Phone Rings Loudly]

Reese: “Geez! Who is that calling me at the ungodly hour of Noon!?!? Don’t they know I just went to sleep at 6am?!?!”


???: “Hello. May I speak to Ms. Law Girl please?”

Reese [yawning]: “She’s not here.”

???: “Oh, well, will you tell her that Mr. Santos called her? She recently applied for a general counsel position with us in Miami and…”

Reese [suddenly waking up]: “Oh, wait, that’s me.”

Mr. Santos: “Oh, but I thought you said…”

Reese: “I thought you were talking about someone else.”

Mr. Santos: “Oooo-kay. Well, Ms. Law Girl, we would like to conduct an interview with you. Would you be available next Monday at around 1:00 p.m. for the interview?”

Reese: “Uhhh, where is this again?”

Mr. Santos: “Miami.”

Reese: “Uhhh, you do know that I live near the Chesapeake Bay? I’m no where near Miami.”

Mr. Santos: “It would be a telephone interview, Mr. Law Girl.”

Reese: “OHHHHHH!! Why didn’t you say so before? Sure, yea, Monday’s good.”

Mr. Santos: “Great. The Judge will call you at 1:00…”

Reese: “JUDGE?!?! There’s a Judge involved in all of this? Wait, what job is this again?”

Mr. Santos: “Hahahaha!!! Ms. Law Girl I like you already. You’re so funny.”

Reese: “Yea, but…”

Mr. Santos: “1:00, Monday. Good luck!!”

Reese: “Hey, wait!!”


Reese: “Oh, this is just great. I don’t even know what this job is all about. I should go and find the job announcement and research what they’re looking for. But, on the other hand my bed is soft and I am really sleepy. I think I’ll do that instead- the sleepy thing.”

So, after finally finding out what this job was all about (just a couple of hours before the interview of course) I sat and waited for either my home phone or my cell phone to ring. I was ready to impress the Judge with my thoroughly thought-out BS.

So, I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Until I realized that it was 1:15 p.m. and I had not received a phone call!

I was really confused because my phones were on, they were not on silent, and there was no phone call.

And then, when I’m just about to assume that the Judge must be on CP time, my phone begins to chime the little Voicemail chime to let me know that I have a Voicemail. So, I check my voicemail only to hear the following message…

Judge: “I’m calling to conduct an interview with Ms. Law Girl. She was supposed to be interviewing with me at 1:00 p.m. but, I received no answer. I guess she’s just an unreliable slacker and I hate her already. Goodbye.”

Yes, that’s right. The Judge had called my home AND cell phone and, I swear to you guys, neither phone rang!! I mean, the phones were sitting right in front of me. And they didn’t ring!!!!

To this day, I have no idea how this happened! Was it a curse? Did God not want me to go to Miami? Was I losing my mind and the phones had actually rang? I don’t know! I really don’t know!

So, after frantically hunting down Mr. Santos and the Judge, and telling the TRUTH instead of a well thought out lie, my interview was rescheduled…

Judge: “So, tell me about your last job experience.”

Reese: “Well, I worked as…”

Judge: “That’s great. And, how well do you do working with tight deadlines?”

Reese: “Very well, I think. Currently, I’m…”

Judge: “Good, good. Well, that’s about all I need from you. Thanx.”

Reese: “Ummm, okay, well thanx for…”


Reese: “And, well, that’s that.”

August 2005

Truthfully, I knew I wasn’t going to get the job in Miami. The only reason why I went through with the rescheduled interview was because I didn’t want it going around my professional community that I was a total loon.

Yes, I know that I am a nut. But, I didn’t want other lawyers to think that.

So, imagine my surprise when I found out Monday that I actually did get the job. And, that I was expected to be in Miami by the first week in September. I just needed to decide if I wanted to go.

Easy task, right? Just go to Miami.

No, not so easy.

See, sometimes, I have a problem making decisions. I’m also a natural realist [read: pessimist], so this sometimes hinders my decision making process. Here’s the discussion I’m currently having with myself about this job.

10:00 a.m., Yesterday

Reese: “I’M GOING TO MIAMI!!!!”

10:15 a.m., Yesterday

Reese: “There’s NO WAY I’m going to Miami. I’m going to hate Miami. All of those pretentious, image conscious P. Diddy wannabes!!! I’m not going to fit in there! THAT’S IT! I’M NOT GOING!!!”

10:16 a.m., Yesterday

Reese: “Man, I am soooo broke!!! I need some money!!! Guess I’m going to Miami!!!”

10:05 a.m., Yesterday

Reese [starting to get the crazy shakes]: “Man, I’m way too broke! There’s no way I can afford to get to Miami. Plus, I’m going to need to get a new car as my piece of crap car won’t make the trip down there. This is not going to happen!!! No, it can’t! We can’t let it happen!!!”

“Did time just go backwards?”

10:20 a.m., next Saturday

Reese [Will Smith video playing in the background; crazy shakes developing rhythm of the hip-hop beat]: “Welcome to Miami! Bienvenudos a Miami!!”

This pattern of lunacy has continued every minute of every hour of every day since I found out I got the job. I have way too many emotions about this move. I want to go and the thought of me not going is depressing. But, I also don’t want to go for many various reasons, one of which is I absolutely love where I live now.

As it stands now, I am definitely going to Miami. I’m just going to complain about moving until I get there. But, I am definitely going.


Without a doubt.

No, doubt in my mind…

Well, maybe a little doubt.

And a few voices.


I guess, only time will tell.

Stay tuned.

© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.


Blogger Jomama said...

Congrats on the job offer! I think it would be cool to move to Miami. I'll just have to stay tuned to see what you decide.

5:57 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Thanx. I think I'm going. I'm pretty sure. Really, I am.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

You HAVE to go to Miami, whos couch am I gonna sleep on when I go down there if you don't?

10:20 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Funny, J. You know, that's what everyone has been saying. ;)

Of course, everyone is welcome to stay with me as I will be all alone in a city where I know no one.

Sadness :(

10:36 AM  
Blogger KOM said...

That's pretty exciting. If it weren't for the whole "work" thing, you could consider it an extended vacation... or an adventure in humidity.

Good luck!

11:43 AM  
Blogger Joanne said...

Hey Reese- I've been meaning to send you an OSC email, but I'll just say it here instead. CONGRATS!

I'm happy for you. And, this way, you'll have mostly warm weather, you'll be able to perfect your spanish, you'll be closer to the next Sucias retreat, ummm, palm trees, great shopping, oh and who knows, maybe you'll actually like your job. I know, it's not the UM NCAA job, but that's next!

12:08 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Thanx, Kom and Jo.

Oh, Jo, I'm going to miss my Terps. My Terps, my Terps, my Terps!!! :-(

Someday, I will be the NCAA Compliance Officer for UMD athletics. I know it!! ;)

12:48 PM  
Blogger The Grouchy One said...

I am SO excited for you! Congrats!

I'll make sure that we hang out next time I'm there ;)

However, I vote for a local OSC Happy Hour b4 u leave!

3:14 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Yes, I'm down for that, Grouchy! :)

I'll be back from the boonies on Friday. Let me know if ya'll want to hang out then. :)

3:55 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Congrats Reese! you are so awesome!!

5:13 PM  
Blogger daahsar said...

Congratulations, have plenty of fun while you're in Miami.

6:11 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

Congrats Reese on getting the job!

He he whatever you decide i wish you the best. :)

9:53 PM  
Blogger Juicy77 said...

"Reese: 'JUDGE?!?! There’s a Judge involved in all of this? Wait, what job is this again?'

Mr. Santos: 'Hahahaha!!! Ms. Law Girl I like you already. You’re so funny.'"

LOL Congrats on the job! You're smart - you nipped the bad job situation in the bud. Of course, you're going to Miami! You better. If you don't like it, you can always come home! I have plenty of fam down there if you need some folks to look out for you - um, although some are of the gold-tooth variety...and they won't take you to South Beach unless you beg...but they're cool though, I swear! ;o)

12:40 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Thanx, everyone. :)

Hey, Juicy, I may take you up on that. Even if the relatives are of the gold tooth variety, at least I would know someone in Miami. ;)

10:01 AM  
Blogger CubanDiva said...

You better take your behind to MIA!! I have been trying to get there for years! You will love it there. REMEMBER: NO STATE INCOME TAX!! lmao

2:28 PM  
Blogger Brother Kojak said...

you go girl! DO the damn thing. Miami is the shiz-nik, my suggestion is to commute and not like in the city itself. Miami is a damn zoo. And you don't strike me as the gun-totting type. Coral Gables or Ft. Lauderdale. Congrats again.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Mon said...

Go, go, gooooooo to MIAMI! Everything happens for a reason...if you like it, great, if not, you can always say you tried.

8:04 PM  

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