Monday, August 08, 2005

And Now, a Moment With My Grandfather: Moment #47

So, a little back-story here…

See, when my Grandmother passed away last December, the family was worried about my Grandfather living alone. So, I was made the sacrificial lamb and forced to move to the boonies to keep him company until one of my aunts could move in. Since I’ve been living with my Grandfather, I’ve had many crazy moments with him. I thought it would be therapeutic to start sharing some of them on my blog. This is Moment #47....




Reese: “AHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

Granddad: ‘What’s wrong with you child?!?!”

Reese: “Granddad, I have to go to court today, but I can’t get out of the house!!!”

Granddad: “Why not?”

Reese: “Because, there’s a wasp nest out on the porch!!! Every time I go outside, those god forsaken insects come out of their nest and try to kill me!!!”

Granddad: “AHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Reese: “What’s so funny?!?!”

Granddad: “Girl, there ain’t no wasp nest out there!”

Reese: “YES, THERE IS!!!”

Granddad: “That’s just some little bumble-bees. They ain’t gonna hurt you.”

Reese: “Granddad, those are not bumble-bees. Those are big, black, skinny wasps, and they’re trying to kill me!!”

Granddad: “Ain’t no wasps nest out there girl!!”

Reese: “Then what is that brown cocoon structure hanging from the roof?!?”

Granddad: “A cocoon.”

Reese: “IT IS NOT A COCOON!!! IT’S A WASP HIVE!!! THERE ARE WASPS COMING OUT OF IT!!!!”

Granddad [inspecting obvious wasp nest]: “Alright, alright let me see here...”

“Well, I’ll be! It is a wasp nest!!”

Reese: “See, I told you!!!”

Granddad: “Alright, but, these things ain’t gonna bother you. The city done made you crazy. These wasps ain’t worried about you.”

Reese: “THEY’RE TRYING TO KILL ME!!!”

Granddad: ‘They ain’t gonna bother you. C’mon outside.”

Reese: [looking hesitant]

Granddad: “C’mon girl!!”

Reese [stepping outside]: “Okay….”

Wasps: “BZZZZZ….KILL HER….BZZZZZ…..”

Reese: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

Granddad: “Well, I’ll be dogon!! Those wasps are trying to kill you!! AHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”

Reese: “It’s not funny, Granddad!!”

Granddad: “Yes, it is!!”

Reese: “We have to do something about this! This is dangerous!!!”

Granddad: “Oh, I’ll get rid of the nest, don’t worry.”

Reese: “You will?”

Granddad: “Yea, I’ll go get some kerosene and that’ll get rid of them.”

Reese: Reese: “Kerosene? Is this one of those crazy, Southern, home remedies? Are we going to die because of it?”

Granddad: “It’s not crazy!! I stick some kerosene up in the hive and the fumes will drive the wasps away forever.”

Reese: “So, we’re not going to die because of it?”

Granddad: “NO!”

Reese: “Well, that’s good to know. So, can you do this now, I got to get going?”

Granddad: “Can’t do it now. It’s too hot outside. If I do it now, the kerosene is likely to explode and kill us all!!!”

Reese: “WHAT?!?!? I thought you said…”

Granddad: “Looks like you not going to court today. Hehehehehehe….”

Reese: “Fine, whatever. If you need me, I’ll be in my room…writing my last will and testament.”

Granddad: “Last will and testament? But, you ain’t got nothing to leave to nobody?”

Reese: “Arggghh!!! Goodbye, Granddad!!!”





© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.

11 Comments:

Blogger Kaci said...

LOL Geez. That sounds just like my dad. I'm living in his house with the kids right now whilst Mike is in Iraq and there are times where I wonder how I ever grew up without being completely countrified. His favorite saying is ,'Oh, its broke? I'll git the duck tape.' One of these days that old truck he drives, which he could afford better but loves, is going to start coming apart on the interstate. And then he's going to kick the tire that came untaped and say, 'well, I'll be.'

7:49 PM  
Blogger Joanne said...

Hilarious, as always Reese. Grandparents are the greatest. Enjoy your time with him, in between the crazy!

10:49 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Too funny Reese. He sounds cute!!! I love grandparents. :)

12:32 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Kaci: Hehehehe, I think "Well, I'll be" is the standard slogan of all country Dads. ;)


Thanx, Jo & Dez. Yea, Grandparents are fun. When they're not driving you batty. ;)

2:28 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

Hilarious Reese. Grandparents are so funny. He sounds cute though and a memory like that is something you will rememeber years from now.

6:34 PM  
Blogger Robyn said...

I'm glad he seems to have some spit and vinegar left in him! I lived with my grandfather for a year before he passed away, but he didn't have much life left. He was basically sad.

6:43 PM  
Blogger Caro said...

hahahahaha.

yeah, my grandfather is crazy, he made me sit down in my granmother's wheelchair (while she was sleeping) and zoomed me around the house until he ran me into a wall and laughed.

these guys are crazy.

4:42 AM  
Blogger Desiree said...

I tagged you

3:54 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Oh GEEZ I know you're not THAT busy

10:50 AM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Reese is gettin' busy?

RIGHT ON!!
GO Reese, it's your birthday!

Uh huh!
Oh yeah!

Wazzuup!

Who is this guy?
Will I like him?
Will we all approve?

It's not DJ is it?

It's that Shamar guy right?
Wait.....is it Brad?

C'mon tell us!!

5:47 PM  
Blogger Inside Man said...

I think that whole generation is toucher then nails because of the circumstances of the time period they grew up in (40's-70's). My grandfather is the same way, he'd me pushed out of a moving vehicle and tell me to land on my feet if he had to....

11:42 AM  

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