Wednesday, June 01, 2005

My Desert Adventure: Part 2

Day 3

Today, was an awesome day. First, all of the OS’s had breakfast in one of the conference rooms at the Hyatt. I’m not sure, but I think one of us threatened some sort of retribution to the Tamaya staff if we didn’t get free breakfast. They were very happy to comply.

Anyways, so our guest speaker was Nely Galan. She’s this awesome woman who basically made Telemundo what it is today and created the guilty pleasure show The Swan. She was gorgeous and totally inspiring. And, she can name drop with the best of them. I mean, Norman Leer gave her a television studio. Rupert Murdoch gave her 5 million dollars! Absolutely, outrageous. Do you know what I would do for 5 million dollars? I mean, really, you don’t want to know what I would for 5 million dollars. I’d do some crazy mess for 5 million dollars. But, that’s getting off track. Nely didn’t have to do anything nuts for 5 million dollars. She just had to be creative and a go getter and she got 5 million dollars. That’s pretty sweet. And, I have to say, she’s my newest hero.

So after the Nely session, the OS’s and I had lunch by the pool. I believe there was some Wild Breeze drinks and Killer Punch involved. I can’t quite remember as the blinding light from the sun injured my brain. What I do remember is that after lunch, some of us went swimming. Now, here’s my next race based realization-


Hello. My name is Reese the Law Girl. I am African-American and I need to tan.

I mean, how the hell did my legs get yellow? Yellow, for pete’s sake! What happened to my nice brown skin? I know it was cold this winter and I stayed indoors for much of it, but DAMN! That was kind of embarrassing.

So, after hanging out by the pool (where CC and Jay did the water slide 500 million times- I’m not kidding they really did), we all had a slumber party in Alisa’s phat (yea, with a “ph”) suite.

The OS’s and I first watched Diary of a Mad Black Woman. This movie was hilarious. It was about…

Okay, wait. I’m not even going to pretend I care what the movie was about.

This movie starred his hotness Shemar Moore.




The man is soooo hot!! The entire movie, the OS’s were just salivating over Shemar. He’s so hot. He’s so hot it hurts. It physically pains me to see this hot man that I cannot touch. I just want to touch him. And so did all of the other OS’s…

Reese: “So, Jo, how many times does Shemar have to ask you to get in his car?”

Jo: “Are you kidding? He doesn’t even have to ask. In fact, the window just has to come down partially before I start banging on it- “Let me in! LET ME IN!!”

Yea, so as you can see we had a little Shemar ooggle-fest. It was fun. We also ate lots of pizza and drank lots of wine. There was a little balcony jumping scare, but in the end, it was all good (I kid because I love- the OS’s know what I’m talking about here ;).

Day 4

So, this was the last full day of my vacation. It was a little weird.

Well, the schedule was a little off, so we didn’t really know what was going on. In the end, some Christian Talk Show people stopped by to “jam” with us. I sat and ate breakfast with them. They were so serious, so I tried to make them laugh some…

Christian Guy #1: “Well, Jane here was abused and raped and beaten. And Anna was beaten, raped, and abused.”

Reese: “Jesus Christ!”

Christian Guy #2: “Yes, God is good.”

Reese: “Right. So, ummm, you all are from California, huh?”

Christian Guy #1: “Yea.”

Reese: “You know, I’m afraid to go to California. Earthquakes and everything.”

Jane: “Really? You know it’s not that bad.”

Reese: “Well, see, the thing is- I like to run away from my natural disasters.”

Anna: “But, god will protect you.”

Reese: “Yea, but God gave me a right mind and free will. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want me standing on a fault line, jumping up and down…”

Christian People: [silence]

Christian Guy #1: Do you believe in God?”

Reese: “See, I’m just joking…that wasn’t me trying to say that there is no God…umm…I have to go make bread now.”

I really did have to go make bread. CC and I had a bread making appointment with a wonderful woman at the Tamaya. Her name was Ms. Sanchez and she was sooo sweet. She showed us how to put yeast and lard in flour and make dough. Then she fixed our dough after we messed it all up…

CC: “Uhhh, I think I may have put to much yeast in this flour…”


In the end, the bread came out all pretty and stuff. And it tasted so good. Thanx Ms. Sanchez for adding 5 pounds worth of carbs to my food intake for the day!

After bread making, again the OS’s and I hung out at the pool. Again, CC and Jay went up and down the water slide another 600 million times. I think they may have pushed some of the kiddies out of the way to do that slide so many times.

After the pool, LE (I’m not calling her Lisa, because there are WAY to may “Lisa’s” on this blog) and I went to the spa. We did the whirlpool and hung out in this area where you just lay on these relaxing lawn chairs and go to sleep.

Ahhhh...good times…

So, later, while LE and CC went bike riding and lizard watching, I took a nap in my nice room. Because, I’m lazy.

Later, all the OS’s had a great last dinner together. We joked and talked and joked some more.

Much, much later, the OS’s had drinks at the outdoor bar. We thought we could just hang there and didn’t need to order anything. We were wrong.

Evidently, not only did we have to order drinks, we had to do it within the time limit of 3 minutes (I kid you not). Thus, the OS’s adopted “3 Minutes” or 3 fingers as our official gang symbol. We also have an official gang screamy thing (think of the AKA’s and there “sceeeeoohh” or whatever the heck it is that they do). Our screamy thing is “meeooowwww” ‘cause we talk a lot of shit.

Yea, that’s right. I said a bad word. I’m in a gang now. That’s what we gang bangers do. We say bad words!


Day 5

So, this was our last day at the Tamaya. We had breakfast together and promised that we would do another trip together next year. And, I’m quite sure that we will.

CC and I (because our mom had caught an earlier flight) had a hellishly long flight back home. On the first leg of the flight, I tried to bribe the Delta lady into moving my sister and I into first class, but she said no. Then, I told her that I was in a gang called the OS’s and that I would kill her if she didn’t give me first class. She just laughed and told me to run along to coach.

Anyhoo, CC and I got back to the East Coast at around midnight. We were really tired and slept all the way from the airport to home. And, we had sweet dreams of our desert adventure all the way.

Original Sucias

“Put 3 Fingers Up, Wait before You Order Your Killer Punch, and Meoowww Like You Mean It”

© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.


Blogger KOM said...

Oh man, I thought "Going to make bread" was like seeing a man about a horse.

And yeah, sometimes earthquakes can make you want to make bread yourself.

4:17 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Hehehe, it's the best, truthful excuse I've ever come up with to run away. ;)

4:36 PM  
Blogger Joanne said...

ROTFL! You're writing is too hilarious. How is it that you can write about an event at which I was present, yet make it so much funnier than I even remember it being? And, you're not even exaggerating... man, you SLAY me!

I only have 3 minutes ;-) But, I will say... see you next year beyotch!

4:37 PM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

Reese, who is Reina and why does she look so damned familiar?

Is LE the Lisa sitting next to you in the "I don't want you guys to see me" picture?

4:52 PM  
Blogger CubanDiva said...

You are truly gifted! You know I am holding up the left hand and my 3 fingers on the right to salute you mi hermana! MEEEOOOOOWWW!!

5:01 PM  
Blogger Karla said...

rotfl...ay now i am sad that i missed the retreat. I am sooo going next year.

8:58 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Joanne & Kim: Thanx, beyotches! MEOOOWWWW!!

Geez, I'm going to be saying that forever now. ;)

J: I don't know why you think Reina is familiar. Maybe you've met her in a past life? She's a sucia and she's supercool! :)

Yes, that's LE. And, I would appreciate it if you would stop looking at that picture. Please. You must stop. ;)

Karla: Oh, Karla. You missed some craazzyy times. It's okay, though. You'll have an awesome adventure next year. ;)

9:07 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...


9:40 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

ahhh that was so a weight off my shoulders!

heheh...glad your back girlie.... sounds like you had a great time!

9:42 PM  
Blogger gloria said...

yeah reese I agree with Joanne. I was there yet you make it sound like I really wasn't!! HAHAHA LOL

Love ya girl

C ya soon!


10:25 PM  
Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

I'll stop looking at that picture.
I must.
(J mumbles after Reese uses the Jedi mind trick on him)

11:08 PM  
Blogger leslie said...

Your writing is hilarious--the ordinary becomes entertaining =) Have you ever thought about writing as a career path??

11:54 PM  
Blogger Claira.K said...

JUmp some-where!

12:16 AM  
Blogger tannia g. robles said...

ahhhh thanks for the wonder story. you made me feel like was actually there. I hope you all go next year if there's another retreat so that you can jump me into your gang.

2:35 AM  
Blogger Jomama said...

That was a great story (I wasn't expecting any less). Is this the first Sucia retreat and that's why you guys are the "Original" Sucias? Is it too late for the rest of us? (I haven't read the whole book yet, but I still wanna hang with the OS's).

5:31 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Leslie: Thanx! No, I haven't thought about writing professionally. I don't think I'd have anything to say.


Lisa: Ahh, I was wondering where the b-ball diss was. I was expecting it. It hurt, but I deserved it. ;)

Tannia: Ah, yes, the OS's (or OSC) will be hazing new pledges next year. I'm sure it won't be too painful. ;)

Rina: Yes, this was the first retreat, hence we're the "Original." It's, of course, just a fun thing we all came up with.

8:23 AM  
Blogger Lez said...

I'm glad you had fun chica. Now we gotta get your pasty, non-dancing behind to move back to civilization so we can hang more.

9:52 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Lez: Oh, and you know my car is sick now. I may be stuck in the boonies forever!!!

10:04 AM  
Blogger The Grouchy One said...

I am LMAO at our story. Laughing like I am hearing about it for the first time.... but, uh, we were there!! LOL

It was really really great meeting you unworthy beyotches. Can't wait for next time!

Gotta run, I've used my three minutes typing this!! ;-)

OS, May '05

11:01 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Marissa: LOL! You OS Be-otch! Don't start no trouble over here!! Meooowwww.

Okay, that didn't make any sense. ;)

11:19 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

Hey Reese your blog was really funny! I was lovin me some Shemor...but why was he such a punk in that movie! Some parts were too corny for me...either way he did look good fake brades and all! lol

Can't wait to the next retreat with the OS be-otches!

11:33 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Jay: "I want to be your knight in shining armor!"

Yea, that was corny as hell! But, he was still hot.

Later Days, Be-otch!! ;)

11:40 AM  
Blogger Alisa Lynn Valdes said...


First, your photo is BEAUTIFUL!!! What a smile. Man.

Second, thanks for saying nice things about the retreat. I wish I could have spent more time with you all.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Alisa: Thanx. I never realized I had such a huge smile before this picture.

Anyways, I really did have fun in NM. Like I said, this was a vacation for me and I did enjoy getting to meet all of the women who came and the change of scenery. If I had to do it over again, of course, I'd still do it again. Thanx for having us. :)

7:33 PM  
Blogger Desiree said...

Sounds like a great time Reese!

10:28 AM  

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