Wednesday, January 09, 2008

2008: The Year of Annoying Lisa

Every year I say I'm going to do something different with this blog. And every year I do something different with this blog for all of 6 months tops (if that) and then I quit because I'm lazy. This year is no different. This year I'm going to proclaim to do something different with this blog and I probably won't follow through. Hey, that's just how I do. You'll have to deal with it. ;)


For 2008 I've decided that I'm going to spend the whole year putting my best friendship in jeopardy. This year, I'm going to spend the whole year annoying Lisa.

Now, you may ask, "Reese, what the hell is wrong with you? Why would you want to annoy your best friend?" The answer is simple- that's just how I do (I mean really people, I just said that two paragraphs ago, geesh!).

I have to annoy Lisa this year otherwise I won't be able to annoy Lisa for another four years. Why, you may ask? Well, because this year is the presidential election. You see Lisa is very political. She's a big old Liberal who has been oppressed by the Bush Administration for the past 8 years. This election is very important to her because now she can finally get the Republicans out of the white house and spread her Islam to the nation or something.



LOL! I'm just joking about the Islam! Damn, take a pill, people.



Anyways, like I said Lisa is a big old Liberal who is obsessed with politics. To me it's really funny to see her get all emotional about politics because, in my opinion, none of it really matters. I believe that this system of things will be destroyed by God or global warming in the next 50 years anyways so what does it matter about what some politician does or doesn’t do in the future. We’re all going to be destroyed in the end so let’s just relax and watch some Tivo. Needless to say, Lisa doesn’t feel exactly the same way…



Lisa: "Reese, you have the power to change the nation! You're one vote could change everything! I mean you live in Florida! FLORIDA!!!! Do you know how important Florida is?!?! I mean, of course you know how important Florida is. I mean, everyone does!”

Reese: "Ummmm, yeah..."

Lisa: "FLORIDA!!!!! Finally, I can change the nation through you!!!”

“Now, I'll tell you who to vote for in the primary..."


Reese [playing with her iPhone]: "I can't vote in the primary, I'm not registered to vote in Florida."

Lisa: "What?"

Reese [yawn]: "Dude, did you hear what Britney Spears did the other day..."

Lisa: "REESE, FOCUS!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT REGISTERED TO VOTE? YOU'VE LIVED IN FLORIDA FOR TWO YEARS NOW!!!"

Reese: "Ummm...yeah, well, I never got around to it, you know. It doesn't matter, anyways. Human beings are incapable of governing themselves in a just way and..."

Lisa: "SPARE ME YOUR BIBLE TALK!!"

Reese: "Ummmm..."

Lisa: "DON'T YOU HAVE A FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE?!? DIDN'T YOU CHECK OFF THE BOX TO REGISTER TO VOTE WHEN YOU GOT YOUR LICENSE?!?"

Reese: "No."

Lisa: "WHY NOT?!?"

Reese: "I don't believe in it."

Lisa: "BELIEVE IN WHAT?!?!?!"

Reese: "Checking off boxes that don't pertain to me just getting a license. I only check off the box about getting a license. I don't check off anything else. No donations to save the manatee, no organ donation, and no registering to vote."

Lisa: [silence]

Reese: "Hello?"

Lisa: [dead silence]

Reese [shaking iPhone]: "Helllll-oooooo? Are you there?"

Lisa: "Reese..."

Reese: "Yeah?"

Lisa: "I'm going to f&*#@$% kill you."





You see? You see how angry she gets about this stuff? I mean, maybe I'm just perverse, but I think it's hi-larious! LOL! Awww, man...really good stuff!!!



Anyways, my first step in annoying Lisa is waiting until the last possible minute to register to vote. The way I see it, I've already missed my opportunity to register for the primary which, according to Lisa, is Super Tuesday for Florida. I don't know which Tuesday that is. Is it next Tuesday? If it's the Tuesday before the Spice Girls concert in February then I couldn't vote anyways because I need to find a cute outfit to wear to the Spice Girl's concert.


Oh, man! This is going to be so much fun. When Lisa reads this post she's going to flip her lid.


Hey, if you have any ideas for further annoying Lisa let me know. Right now, I'm thinking about registering as a Republican if I do register in the primary and voting for whoever is the worst Republican candidate who actually has a shot at winning the election. That would really piss Lisa off. LOL!


Man, I'm such a stinker! ;)




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6 Comments:

Blogger The OE said...

And this would be the fire breathing Lisa who has a thing for hot secret agents but is a risk to National security

1:39 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Yes, it's that Lisa. You'd have to risk everything to get with her OE. I'm not sure you're prepared for that kind of mission. ;)

7:08 AM  
Blogger Karla said...

LMAO, oh man I can't wait to see how this turns out.

10:51 PM  
Blogger Falone said...

LOL!! You should try to vote for Ron Paul, though I would hope McCain won't win again (he won in NH). But I suppose I'm liberal at heart... who's she going for?

8:54 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Falone: She's an Obama girl. But, sometimes she's a Clinton girl, I think.

This election is messing with her liberal sensitivities. ;)

9:00 PM  
Blogger Falone said...

Well, it's like they're Biggie and 2Pac... kinda... sorta... OK, not really... I'm going to stop now.

12:02 PM  

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