Reese Lesson #2: Never Get Blood in Your Eye
Can I catch a break? I mean really!!
I went to the eye doctor (who is not cute, by the way) on Friday...
Dr. Bad News Eye Doctor (Dr. BNED): "Hmmm, that's interesting..."
Reese: "What? What's interesting?"
Dr. BNED: "You said your contacts have been irritating you, right?"
Reese: "Uh-huh..."
Dr. BNED: "Well, it looks like there is a little blood seeping into the lens of your eye."
Reese: "WHAT!"
Dr. BNED: "It's not that bad actually..."
Reese: "WHAT! What do you mean there's blood in my eye?!?! What the hell does that mean!?!?"
Dr. BNED: "If you'll calm down..."
Reese: "I'm not going to calm down!! You're telling me that I'm going blind..."
Dr. BNED: "I never said..."
Reese: "Oh, my God! I knew this was going to happen! I knew it! All these years, I've been getting my eyes checked, I knew, I KNEW, that one day my eye doctor was going to say that I'm going blind..."
Dr. BNED: "You are not going blind..."
Reese: "Oh, my God! I can't believe this. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! Is there a pet shop around here- I'm going to need a German Shepard!"
Dr. BNED: "No, if you'll just listen..."
Reese: "Oh, my God! This is all because of my stupid birthday. I'm jinxed I tell you. JINXED!"
Dr. BNED: "Just for my own amusement, I'd actually like to hear you elaborate on this..."
Reese: "It's my birthday! On the same day I was born this lady, who was an accessory to Abraham Lincoln's assassination, well she was hung, HUNG, for her crimes on my birthday!"
Dr. BNED: "Mary Surrat! Mary Surrat was hung on your birthday?"
Reese: "YES!"
Dr. BNED: "Wow. You really are jinxed."
Reese: "See what I mean?!?"
Dr. BNED: "Okay, if you'll just calm down. You are NOT going blind, okay?"
Reese: "Uh-huh..."
Dr. BNED: "You are not going to need a German Shepard."
Reese: "Uh-huh..."
Dr. BNED: "I think what has happened is that we need to switch you to a new brand of contacts. That's all. This brand isn't working with your eyes, thus the eye has become inflamed."
Reese: "My eyeball is inflamed?"
Dr. BNED: "Yes...the...inside...of the eye."
Reese: "Uh-huh..."
Dr. BNED: "Just a little inflamed. You'll be fine in a couple of days. In the meantime, use these eyedrops and don't wear your contacts."
Reese: "Don't wear my contacts?!?! But, I have a dental appointment with my cute, Middle-Eastern dentist tomorrow! I can't wear glasses! I would have already humiliated myself before I walked in the door!"
Dr. BNED: "Well, you have two choices: wear your glasses and humiliate yourself or wear your contacts and risk further damage to your eye."
Reese: "Fine! FINE! I'll wear the stupid glasses."
Dr. BNED: "Good. Come back on Monday and we'll see how your eye is doing."
Reese: "Fine. And, I hope you're happy by the way."
Dr. BNED: "Why would I be happy?"
Reese: "Because of your "diagnosis" now Dr. CMED gets to see me in my glasses and he'll never whisk me away on a dream vacation to Vegas."
Dr. BNED: "Reese, was Dr. CMED ever going to whisk you away anywhere?"
Reese: "Fine! FINE! So, I'm a little delusional..."
Dr. BNED: "A little?"
Reese: "Fine! FINE! So, I'm a lot delusional."
Dr. BNED: "Exactly. See you Monday."
Reese: "Whatever."
© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.
I went to the eye doctor (who is not cute, by the way) on Friday...
Dr. Bad News Eye Doctor (Dr. BNED): "Hmmm, that's interesting..."
Reese: "What? What's interesting?"
Dr. BNED: "You said your contacts have been irritating you, right?"
Reese: "Uh-huh..."
Dr. BNED: "Well, it looks like there is a little blood seeping into the lens of your eye."
Reese: "WHAT!"
Dr. BNED: "It's not that bad actually..."
Reese: "WHAT! What do you mean there's blood in my eye?!?! What the hell does that mean!?!?"
Dr. BNED: "If you'll calm down..."
Reese: "I'm not going to calm down!! You're telling me that I'm going blind..."
Dr. BNED: "I never said..."
Reese: "Oh, my God! I knew this was going to happen! I knew it! All these years, I've been getting my eyes checked, I knew, I KNEW, that one day my eye doctor was going to say that I'm going blind..."
Dr. BNED: "You are not going blind..."
Reese: "Oh, my God! I can't believe this. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! Is there a pet shop around here- I'm going to need a German Shepard!"
Dr. BNED: "No, if you'll just listen..."
Reese: "Oh, my God! This is all because of my stupid birthday. I'm jinxed I tell you. JINXED!"
Dr. BNED: "Just for my own amusement, I'd actually like to hear you elaborate on this..."
Reese: "It's my birthday! On the same day I was born this lady, who was an accessory to Abraham Lincoln's assassination, well she was hung, HUNG, for her crimes on my birthday!"
Dr. BNED: "Mary Surrat! Mary Surrat was hung on your birthday?"
Reese: "YES!"
Dr. BNED: "Wow. You really are jinxed."
Reese: "See what I mean?!?"
Dr. BNED: "Okay, if you'll just calm down. You are NOT going blind, okay?"
Reese: "Uh-huh..."
Dr. BNED: "You are not going to need a German Shepard."
Reese: "Uh-huh..."
Dr. BNED: "I think what has happened is that we need to switch you to a new brand of contacts. That's all. This brand isn't working with your eyes, thus the eye has become inflamed."
Reese: "My eyeball is inflamed?"
Dr. BNED: "Yes...the...inside...of the eye."
Reese: "Uh-huh..."
Dr. BNED: "Just a little inflamed. You'll be fine in a couple of days. In the meantime, use these eyedrops and don't wear your contacts."
Reese: "Don't wear my contacts?!?! But, I have a dental appointment with my cute, Middle-Eastern dentist tomorrow! I can't wear glasses! I would have already humiliated myself before I walked in the door!"
Dr. BNED: "Well, you have two choices: wear your glasses and humiliate yourself or wear your contacts and risk further damage to your eye."
Reese: "Fine! FINE! I'll wear the stupid glasses."
Dr. BNED: "Good. Come back on Monday and we'll see how your eye is doing."
Reese: "Fine. And, I hope you're happy by the way."
Dr. BNED: "Why would I be happy?"
Reese: "Because of your "diagnosis" now Dr. CMED gets to see me in my glasses and he'll never whisk me away on a dream vacation to Vegas."
Dr. BNED: "Reese, was Dr. CMED ever going to whisk you away anywhere?"
Reese: "Fine! FINE! So, I'm a little delusional..."
Dr. BNED: "A little?"
Reese: "Fine! FINE! So, I'm a lot delusional."
Dr. BNED: "Exactly. See you Monday."
Reese: "Whatever."
© Copyright 2005. All Rights Reserved.
posted by Reese The Law Girl at 9:23 AM
11 Comments:
I could've sworn I left a comment here already. I Blogger screwing up today?
I wrote something about why is is a bad thing having somebody who was involved in killing one of our coolest presidents a bad luck thing?
Reese - when the heck is your birfday?
Oh, and by the way, this post was REALLY FUNNY!
J: You probably did leave a comment. I accidently deleted the post (I was trying to delete something else). Anyways, I had to repost it.
And, anyways, it's a bad thing to have Mary Surratt hung on your birthday because, duh!, it's a bad thing to have anyone hung on your birthday. ;)
Desiree: Thanx. My birthday is 7/7/77. And, no that's not a joke. That is in fact, my actual birthday.
What if Orlando Bloom show's up on your Birthday, and he's hung?
J: Ummm, what exactly do you mean by that? You know when it comes to Orlando I have impure thoughts. You must be more specific. ;)
Lawyer = Big Brain
Impure thoughts = You know what I mean.
Reese + Orlando = K-I-S-S-I-N-G + (X-rated or at least NC-17)
J, you are bad. ;) Well, at least I finally get the "Kissing Song" on my blog. It's about time!
I thought that was it...I remember you telling us sucias...
Reese that post was hilarious. I went to the eye doctor this week as well and he did tell me that i was going blind but i have been going blind since i was 5.
Aww, geez, Karla. Now, I feel so stupid for freaking out about my little inflamed lens. I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. But, I am so sure that you will keep on pushing your way through it! :)
Aww...i did not mean to make you feel stupid. I was just sharing me doctors vist with you. Ah I am not worried about it, it is something that have dealt with all my life.
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