Friday, December 03, 2004

Welcome to a Dysfunctional Relationship: Day (-)120 to Day 1.

The First Dare, I mean Date.

Meet Lisa and Mike (names have been changed to protect the thoroughly embarrassed). Lisa is a 26 year old Assistant District Attorney for a red state down South. Mike is a 32 year old Solo Practitioner for a red state down South. Yes, Lisa and Mike are both attorneys; and, yes, this relationship is doomed from the beginning.

Lisa and Mike met when they were going head to head against each other in court. Lisa was trying put a drug dealer who sold drugs to children in jail. Mike was trying to ensure the drug dealer’s current position as the number one supplier for the local public school.

No, no, no, I’m just kidding. That’s not true. But, wouldn’t it be funny if it was?

Okay, back to the real story. Lisa and Mike did meet each other on a case. She was the prosecutor, he was the defense attorney. Lisa thought Mike was cute, Mike thought Lisa was cute, blah, blah, blah. After the case, Lisa and Mike never really saw each other. No phone calls, no silly giggling, no bumping into each other at the court house intentionally, no nothing.

Fast forward 4 months. Lisa is having a debate with her fellow Assistant District Attorneys. Her co-workers are discussing if and when women should ask a dude out. Lisa bragged that she does it all the time. Lisa lies a lot, so her co-workers don’t believe her.

No, no, no, I’m just kidding. That’s not true. But, wouldn’t it be funny if we had a compulsive liar in this story?

Okay, back to the real story. So, Lisa’s co-workers don’t believe her. Lisa told them that it’s really true- she has no problem asking guys out on dates. So, her co-workers, attempting to catch Lisa in an exaggeration, and also because this conversation was more important then getting criminals off the street, dare Lisa to call a random guy and ask him out on a date. Lisa takes that dare and she decides to call that cute defense attorney she met 4 months ago.

So, Lisa calls Mike. Right there, in her office, in front of all of her co-workers. She asked Mike if he was interested in going out with her. He said definitely sense he had nothing better to do. Thus, this journey into denial and wishy-washiness was born.

On their first date, Lisa and Mike went to see a movie(“Hero” according to Lisa). And, in celebration of seeing a Chinese movie, Lisa and Mike then went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant. And what was Lisa and Mike’s first impression of each other? Well, it didn’t look good folks.

Lisa thought the date was nothing special. She wondered if this “blah-ness” also translated into the bedroom.

No, no, no I’m just kidding...

Or am I? (duh, duh, dunnnnn!!).

Yes, I am just kidding. Geesh, I thought you would know me by now.

Anyways, Mike thought Lisa was a psycho bitch and mean. He wasn’t sure if he’d go out with her again.

So, will Mike go out with Lisa again? Will Lisa learn to control her psycho, bitchiness? What’s going on in the bedroom? Stay tuned to these and other developments in our next installment of Welcome to a Dysfunctional Relationship: Day 2 to Day 28. Are We a Couple?

© Copyright 2004. All Rights Reserved.


Blogger Blog ho said...

© Copyright 2004. All Rights Reserved. ????? *RAGE* You really *are* a lawyer, huh?

Well, what is happening in the bedroom?

10:58 PM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Yes, my intellectual property professor would be proud.

Look, I can't help it. It's like an irresistible
impulse. I must always protect myself legally.

In any case, patience is a virtue my friend. To find out what's happening in the bedroom, you'll have to stay tuned. ;)

10:04 AM  
Blogger "Lisa" said...

This entire series is a horrible horrible LIE!

9:47 PM  
Blogger Bobo the Wandering Pallbearer said...

Um. Shouldn't you update the copyright thingy? 'cause, according to the tag, the copyright has already expired. (Or not. I know bupkis about copyright law

10:01 AM  
Blogger Reese The Law Girl said...

Bobo: Nah. If anything, I have to keep the copyright date just as it is. The 2004 copyright date let's the court know when I wrote it.

You know, if I had to sue someone one. WHICH I WILL DO, SO YOU CHEATERS BEST NOT BE MESSIN' WITH ME!!

Anyways, the original date has to stay for origination purposes.

10:29 AM  

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