Tuesday, November 30, 2004

THE American Worker

I don't know if you know this or not, but THE American Worker is getting screwed. I know this because I am not THE American Worker. I mean, I work, but I don't pull 40+ hours a week. Anyways, this isn't necessarily about my dubious work status, it's about THE American Worker. And, THE American Worker is getting screwed. "Why, Reese, whatever do you mean?" Well, let me explain.

You see, I used to work for this plumbing company when I was an undergrad. I did receptionist/HR work (please, don't ask me what "HR" work is). Anyways, I distinctly remember one time when the company was hiring new plumbers. I was a part of the "interview-team" I guess you could say, and here’s what the company would tell prospective employees they would get if they worked there. It went a little something like this:"Working for us would be so wonderful for you. Full benefits. Low pay. And, if you work here for at least 15 years, you will get 2 weeks vacation. Of course, you'll only get 2 days your first 10 years, but we think that's pretty generous."Okay, so, what's wrong with that which I just described? I mean, c'mon people, do I really have to spell it out? This company actually expected to pay its workers next to nothing, just to get benefits, and work 40+ hours a week! Hardly any vacation time! So basically, they wanted someone to work, just for works sake. That's just sad and wrong people. And, it's a perfect example of how THE American Worker is getting screwed.

Around the world, people are working. And being productive. And taking 2 hour lunch breaks. That's right people, everyone has siesta but you. They even have siesta in Kuwait. They even call it siesta in Kuwait. But, what are you getting? You're getting harassed by your boss if you take a 30 minute lunch break. Some of you probably don't even eat lunch. You trick your mind into thinking that that small pink stick of Orbitz gum is a full course meal. Yes, you THE American Worker are getting screwed!

Around the world, people are working. And being productive. And they spend only 35 hours a week in the office. Yes, it's mandated by their government that the work week only be 35 hours. That's 7 hours a day people. No wait, that's 5 hours a day because the rest of the world takes siesta. And you know what? They don't have to make up their siesta time by spending an extra 2 hours at work. Oh, no, they just go home at 4pm after getting to work at 9am. Meanwhile, Americans are pushing over 40 hours a week in the office. Not only that, but some of us are always connected to our office on account of company "suggested" Blackberry's that make sure that the only thing on THE American Worker's mind is work. Yes, you THE American Worker are getting screwed!

Finally, around the world people are working. And being productive. And hanging out on the beach with their 5 weeks of vacation. 5 weeks of mandated vacation. Yes, people, the rest of the world spends only 5 hours of day in the office because the rest of the time they're taking "a holiday." "A holiday," people! Meanwhile, you probably consider a holiday with your friends and family as a 15 minute phone conversation during your night minutes on your cell phone. Just to rub salt in the wound, I'll remind you that THE American Worker is getting screwed!

Yes, even I, THE Anti-American Worker am getting screwed. Because, if I was anywhere else in the rest of the world, I could work when I want, how I want, and create a web-page to discover myself, and not have to worry about health insurance, life insurance, shelter, and all the other things that life likes to use like a boot to stomp on your very soul. Yes, even THE Anti-American Worker is getting screwed!

So, I thought you should know. We Americans are the best. We work the hardest. We work the hardest. And we work the hardest. We're simply THE Best at Getting Screwed!

*Copyright © 2004. All Rights Reserved*


Anonymous Anonymous said...

YEAH! Tell the truth! :o)

4:48 PM  

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